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Newspaper Page Text
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A young soldier, dining, ordered
some plum pudding. When it was
served he sat for some time looking
.at it with an amused expression.
Then he unbuckled his belt -and un
buckled his . tunic. The waitress,
who had been watchlng him curiously,-
now became alarmed, and she
hastened to fetch the proprietor.
''"Well, young" man," said'the latter
on his arrival, "what are you up to.?"
. 'Up' to !" echoed the young soldier.
If you would like' to know I'm going
to .try to jump from one plum to- an
other in that, pudding!" v
, GOOpAS NEW
Barber Save you been here be
Customer Yes, once. .
Barber I don't seem to remember
.Customer Ob, it's healed up since
"What am ilattrbublo ctween yo!
an yo' wife, Mlstah Persimmons?"
"Ah done ensued dat women fo'
divo'ce, MIstah, Huckleberry.
"Deah me, Ah'm ejcprised. Why,
las' week she gabe yo' a hand-painted
necktie she made herself."
"Yassrdatm in mah petition, too.
Ah got to prove cruelty."
"Oh, well, Ah'm separated from
"On. what grounds?"
"Nuffln much. We jes' differed
"Differed about amusements? In
what respec', sah?"
"Dar wuz a entire" absence ob re
spec' on bofe sides, sah. We jest
couldji't enjoy ouahselves togedder
"Did you argufy much about
"Only when she used to hammer
me on de head wif a potato-masher."
i "But, man, dat ain't no amuse
ment.'' . j -H-.xjW
' "Huh, ef yo'd-heerd5her4anghf yo'd
fink it wuz!"
A small boyrhad been. vaccinated,
and after the' operation: the doctor
prepared to bandage the sore arm,
but the boy objected.
"Put it on the other arm, doctor;"
"Why, no," said the physician, "I
want to put the bandage on your sore
arm, so the boys at school won't hit.
you on it."
"Put it on the other arm, doc,"
reiterated the small boy; "you don't
know the fellows at our school."
N. Y. World. -
Mr. Green What a lot I seem to
have1 learned tonight! How I have
benefited by this conversation with,
you;' my deaf Miss Roberts! Some
bow,. your intellect seems to appeal
tpmine. Are you a literary lady?
Miss 'Roberts No, I am. a teacher
in air infa'nt school!