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Newspaper Page Text
TAMING MISS ABIGAIL
By George Munson.
"Votes for women?" inquired my
friend the fisherman, cutting off a
generous, slice of-chewing tobacco
from a black stick ofpiug. "Sure I
. believe in 'em. But you can't change
nature by no such means as that. A
woman that has a vote will be, more'
or less, the same as a woman with
out one. Some women with the vote
will be angels, just the same as if
. they hadn't, and some will "be the
Went.. Around Pricking Every Cow
Under the Ear.
other thing whether they have the
vote or not.
"Now, there's that Miss Abigail
Perkins you saw up here last sum
mer. Spinster, age uncertain, tem
per unsafe, home, Boston. Thought
she was filled with the love of hu
manity, when it was plain, ordinary
wail, you'll what it was later. No,
it didn't develop until you had gonJ
home. She stayed up here all last
winter, you know. Fact is, she's stay
ing here now, but she's changed
"Well, sir, Tobias never prided it
self on being anything but just an or
dinary village. No rich men, no poor,
and them that's got the most money
earned it honestly. Decent fishermen,
for the most part, trying to make a
fair living and give their wives and
families .the best they can. Along
comes Miss Perkins, wanting to re
"You remember lasFAugust it was
the flies that bothered her. Said flies
was a disgra6e-to san-i-tation and
civili-zaion and wanted to wipe 'em
out before the spring come along.
Went round about the back doors
pouring kerosene on the flower beds.
Ruined two dollars' worth of bulbs
I'd set out and spoiled a half ton of
fertilizer in my stable. Did I say any
thing? No. I believe in people's mo
tives and Miss Abigail's was all right,
only the strings got twisted.
"Started a crusade against the
cows along about Christmas. Said
the cursd of the country was. the.
Great White Plague, coming from'
cows. Got a tub full of some doctor's
Stuff and went round pricking every
cow under the ear. Few days later,
said cow would naturally go off her
feed, having all that stuff put jnto her
system. Miss Abigail says that's a
sign of tuber tuber tubers. Want
ed 'em killed. Tobias set up a' holler
and we saved our cows.
"You remember Hiram Bliss, who
wanted to charge the artists a com
mission for .letting 'em paint his scen
ery? Meanest man in Tobias, most
people thought. Hard old skinflint,
grasping, and" always, ready to take
advantage of his neighbor. Well, sir,
when Miss Abigail got the cow craze
it hit him pretty hard. He was the in
strument of our saving our cows, be-"
cause he had twenty-six, and Miss
Abigail had got into his pasture and
pricked every cow he had, and they
all developed tubers. Well, as I was