J I5HyT7 .
NOT IN THE ORDERS
Jim's boss sent him up on the roof
to paint it. That was early in the
morning. Toward nightfall the boss
clambered up the ladder to sea where
his workman was.
"Jim, you lazy piece, what you
. "Didn't I Bend you up here to paint-
"Why didn't you come down if you
had finished ?"
" 'De,ed, boss, you jes' said paint de
ropf. Yau rievah said nufflri' 'bout
comin' down." Washington Star..
A celebrated vocaljst was in a
motor-car accident one day. A
felnaper, after recording the accident,
"We are happy to state that he
was able to appear the following
evening In three pieces.",
Mr. Taft, when he was in the White
House, never oyerlooked an op
portunity for a joke. In the closing
months of his administration Henry
L. Stimson,then secretary of war,
wrote Mr. Taft a, very urgent re
quest tjiat he give a friend of Stim
son a certain Federal position.
Mr. Taft wrote to, Stimson as fol
lows: "My Dear Stimson I am sorry I
L cannot do anything for your friend
in Te'sponse to your letter of today
Would like to accommodate you, but
it is impossible. Sincerely yours,
William H. Taft"
Under thisiie wrote: '
Then Mr. Stimson read on the
other side of the paper:
"I couldn't do it today because
gave' the fellow a job yesterday."
rO o '
POINT IN HER FAVOR
The lovely girl, having lingered a
minute, in her room to adjust her
transformation, change the ancle of
her Grecian band and make sure that
her skirt fitted like the peeling of a
plum, descended to the parlor to find
the family pet ensconced upon the
knee of the young man caller, her
curly head nestled comfortably
against his shoulder.
wny, Mabel! tne young lady ex
claimed; "aren't you ashamed of
yourself? Get right down."
"Shan t do it, retorted the child.
"I got here first." Ladies' Home
. oo . ,
PUT IT OUT
"May I smokeJiere in.the'parlor?"
"No, Jack. Father wbuld-put you
out." ' -
"Put me put?"
H am afraid so."
"The lamp's smoking!" (And the
there was. darkness.)
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