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ONE ON THE COOK
Norah, the new cook, poked her
head round the dining-room door.
"Plaze, ma'am," she inquired, "an'
how will Oi be knowin' whin the pud
ldin' is cooked?"
t "Stick a knife into it," answered
fthe skilled housewife, "and if it comes
out clean the pudding is ready to
"And, oh, Norah," continued her
mistress, "if the knife does come out
clean you might stick all the rest of
the knives in as well."
Mr. George Graves tells a story of
two men who were discussing the
great affluence of another. "Why,"
said one, "he's got a Murillo. a Van-
i'dyke, and a Velasquez '' "No, has
he?" exclaimed the astonished listen1-
"Has he, really? What on earth
want with three motor-
One of the artists had just finished
singing 'Srily in Our Alley." The
song appcsrcd to affect Pogson. I
gave him a dig in the ribs and in
quired: "Upset you, old man?"
"That song," he began, "brings to
my mind an incident of many years
ago which happened when I' was a
boy. How well I remember the .com
motion, the wail of the governess, the
shrieks of the mater! I had a little
sister named Sally, and one day we
were playing marbles (we called them
'alleys') when all of a sudden Sally
swallowed one of my best 'glassies.' "
"But what's the connection with
the song?" I asked.
"The alley in our Sally," replied
Pogson, as he edged away.
A countryman, passing through a
town,, was attracted by a notice in a
shop window which read: "Good
Habits for Sale." After reading it
he went inside.
"Well, sir," said the assistant,
"what can I do for you?"
"I want to get a good habit,
please," said the countryman.
"What kind would you like, sir?"
said the assistant.
"The one of getting up early in
the morning," replied the country
man. The assistant looked astonished.
Then, seeing a joke, wrote on a slip
of paper, "Please give bearer some
self-raising flour," and directed him
to- the grocery shop next door.
A GOOD REASON
Teacher Willie, did you father
whip you for what you did in school
Willie No, ma am: he said the
licking would hurt him more than1
Teacher What nonsense. Your
father is too sympathetic.
Willie No, ma am; but he s got
rheumatism in both arms.