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Newspaper Page Text
P HE LET ME HAP IT FOR ?0-
IT (3ECOS5 ITS NOSE SS BROKEN
OFF. BOOBl DOT SH0W5
The story is told of a well-known
fraveler who on one journey was
tnuch annoyed by a pedantic bore
who forced himself upon him and
made a great parade of his learning.
. The traveler bore it as long as he
could, and at length, looking at him
v "My friend, you and I know all that
is to be known."
"How is that?" said the man, pleas
ed with what he thought a compli-
"Whv'1 Raid the traveler, "vnn
pnow everything except that you are
fool, and I know that."
, o o
.t, "A couple," said Mrs. Simpkins,
I ''got married a few days ago, after a
I' LT-J X-l-t. 1 1 J AM..
courisuip wuiuu uau jaaieu uiiy
-tyears." "I suppose," replied Mr.
Simpkins, "the poor old man had be-
ine too feeble to hold out any long
f IN THE MOVIES
By Fred Schaefer.
In most of the duels, somebody has
removed the loads from the pistols.
A fisherman always has a jointed
fishing pole; and usually knee
breeches, golf stockings and a brier
In a ballroom scene, nobody in the
plot dances. They haye people hired
to do that.
Anything with "Melody" in the title
is about an old musician.
Some bum is always discovering
the man that, twenty years before,
stole the woman that he, the bum,
If a girl wears a short skirt and leg
gings, she is destined to ride a horse
madly to bring help.
A convict always establishes his in
nocence in the end. He has the choice
of escaping and securing the proof,
or of staying in while a devoted
sweetheart refutes the charge
against him. Either way is a cinch.
MADE A Hit
A comedian in a Paris theater re
cently made a great hit out of a pain
ful incident. While indulging in a bit
of horse-play on the stage he ac
cidentally struck his head violently
against one of the pillars on the
stage. On hearing the thud, every
body uttered a cry.
"No great harm done," said he.
"Just hand me a towel, a glass of
water and a salt-cellar."
These were brought, and he sat
down, folded the towel in the form of
a bandage, dipped it in the glass, and
emptied the salt-cellar on the wet
part. Having thus prepared a com
press, according to prescription, and
when everybody expected he would
apply it to his forehead he gravely
arose and tied it round the pillar.
o o .
"Aren't you sicH and tired of hear
ing everybody sing that popular
song?" "Not I. How can you stand
it?" "I wrote the song." N. ,Y.