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Newspaper Page Text
HE WAS HAPPIER
A lecture was given recently on the
evil of great wealth. In the audience
cwas a man known to the lecturer.
The man was the father of seven girls
and the lecturer pointed to him as an
"Think," said the lecturer, "of be
ting the proud father of seven daugh
ters. Think who is the happier the
man with a hundred thousand pounds
or the man who is the father of the
"I will ask you, Mr. Sheldon, who
Tdo you think is the happier?" said
ihe lecturer, pointing to the subject
of his argument.
The man arose and said: "Well,
sir, I think that a man with seven
dauerhters is the haDDier a man with
if-pthe money worries for more; a man
uwith seven daughters never does."
o o .
At the point of his gun Slippery
Tom relieved the passerby of his
watch. My time is yours," was the
ryictini's only comment.
00 LEK V.
JIM'S TRUMP CARD
The village gossips were discussing
prospects of prize-winning at the ap
proaching flower show. One rather
fancied that Bill Smith would do well,
because Bill's brother-in-law was em
ployed at the Hall gardens; Tom
Brown seemed a probable winner,
too, having been seen in the nursery
gardening districts of Cheshire at
early morning, and Joe Robinson was
notoriously friendly with a certain
noted grower who was not showing
When all, or nearly all, had thus
"spotted the winners," an ancient
who had not yet spoken remarked:
"Yo're aw rong; none of them's
got a chance. Jim Jones is t' winner."
"Jim Jones!" "What's 'e bin doin?"
"We'n heard nowt abeawt 'im," were
the derisive responses.
"But 'e'll win for aw that," declar
ed the ancient, with conviction, and
made as though that was all he had
to say. Not until his prophecy was
flatly denied did he play his trump
card: "Jim's bought 'is plants off t'
NOTHING QUITE PERFECT
On their way back from the kirk
Mrs. Macgregor and Mrs. Robertson
compared notes on the happenings of
the week. The great event had been
the return of Mrs. Macgregor's
daughter after a short honeymoon.
"Ay, ay," said Mrs. Robertson.
"But it makes a body feel old, all
these young folk getting married.
And how's Jennie getting on, Mrs.
"None so bad for a wee bit of a
girl, Mrs. Robertson."
"And is she happy, Mrs. Macgreg
or?" "Oh, ay, Mrs. Robertson; she's
happy enough. There's only one
thing that she's no sure about."
"What will that be?"
"She's just a wee bit worried with
thinkin' that maybe she could have
got a better man. But there's aya
something the matter in this world."