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There was only one possible ex
planation. Either Bill, the butcher
boy, had not a nodding acquaintance
with the elementary laws of horse
manship, or else the horse was a reg'
With its ears well back, it would
trot along for a few yards and stop
dead; then, without any warning,
start off again, only to stop once
more a little further on. The wretch
ed Bill, having had two solid hours
of this, was almost delirious.
''Hello, my boy!" called out an in
terested spectator. "Wnat do- you
keep pulling that horse up for? Are
you scared of it?"
Beared or it pumn it upr" an
swered the almost tearful youth.
"Whatcher take me for?"
"Well, something's wrong with the
horse," persisted tie stranger.
"You're right there," said Bill
heartily. "But I ain't got nothin' to
do with it. Truth is, the beast is so
'I .... r ,1
afraid that I -shall say Whoa!' and he
won't hear me, that he keeps stoppln
to listen! See?"
ART AND EGGS
"My waking moments were a poem
of drowsiness this morning," ex
claimed the spiritual old clergyman,
"for a k)vey voice singing greeted
The hostess, who' presided at the
"I expect that was the maid you
heard," she answered.
"Does she sing every morning?
Her voice is very fine!"
"Well, it all depends," answered
the lady, repressing, with a stern
look, her son's desire to giggle.
Later in the day the clergyman
himself came upon the little maid-of-all-work,
and complimented her upon
"I alius sings when boilin' eggs,"
she answered dully, getting on with
"But why when you are boiling
eggs?" inquired the interested and
encouraging old boy.
"Oh, one verse for soft, and two
for 'ard!" she ejaculated, walking oft
with her pail.
JUST THE THING
With all the persuasiveness of hia
kind, the insurance agent was calling
upon Murphy to insure himself
"For instance, said he, if you lose
a hand we pay you $1,000.J
'"Faith, then," retorted the other,
"Oi'll snake to me brother Moike
about it. He's a contractor an' he
do be losin' hand's all the toime. It's
just the thing fur him,"
Church Usher (on "Church-goine
Sundav'M Where would you like to
Why e-r-r about the fourth row,
center, arid an aisle seat, please