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Qo oar oMD see vcnr h&
SKY6E VASHINQToNGACK iss
DOING ADOLPH. TEE- HE&,
GO AHEAD. TAKE A UDOK!
1 - '
DOG WAS SAFE
; The fare at a certain boarding
.house was very poor. A boarder who
jhad been there for some time, be
cause he could not get away, was
istanding in the hall when the land
lord rang the dinner bell. Whereupon
an old dog that was lying outside on
a rug commenced to howl mourn
fully. The boarder watched him a little
while, and then said:
"What on earth are you howling
for? You don'tTiave to eat it!"
A certain millionaire, did not ap
prove of foreign missions. One Sun
day at church, when the 'collection
as being taken up for these mis-
ons, the collector approached the
Millionaire and held out the collection
The millionaire shook his head.
, x ucvci give; iu xxxiooiuuo, uc wiujj-
pered. "Then take something out of
I'e bag, sir," whispered the collector.
GETS OUT OF IT
The Smiths' baby was born on a
Christmas morn, and it was the first
babe "of the Smiths, and it was exactly
a year old on the Christmas day when
a party was held to celebrate the
time. His name was John; but he
was generally called "Johnnie" for
long, and there never was such an
infant in the wide world.
"He is a thorough genius," ex
claimed Mrs. Smith. "I'm sure of it."
"He will become an inventor," said
Mr. Smith, "for he is so original."
"Maybe an actor," sighed Mrs.
Smith, "for he is so beautiful."
"Or a musician," piped in Mr.
Smith, "for his voice reminds me of
"Or a general in the army," guess
ed Mrs. Smith, "he is so active."
"Or a great politician," exclaimed
Mr. Smith, with enthusiasm.
"But why a politician?" queried his
wife, in disappointed tones.
"Because, my dear," came the re
ply, "he seems to crawl out of every
thing sd easily."
He had risked his life to rescue the
fair maid from a watery grave, and,
of course, her father was duly grateful.
"Young man," he said, "I can never
thank you sufficiently for your heroic
act. You incurred an awful risk in
saving my only daughter."
"None whatever, sir," replied the
amateur lifesaver, "I am already mar
TWO AT A TIME .
Everything was going smoothly.
the program was an unusually long
one, and the village schoolroom was
packed to its utmost capacity. In the
course of the concert a lady and gen
tleman appeared to irig"-afduet
Mrs. u uiynn nuagea .ner nusbana.
"Don't yez see, Patsy," she ex
plained, "now that it's gettin' late, in
the evenin' they do be puttln' thlm
"The money is for the heathen."
on two at a time.