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"When I was in the produce busi
ness years ago," said an old mer
chant, "I had, among my country
shippers, a German by the name of
Jacob Snyder. He did not often come
to the city, but when he did it was a
great occasion with him, and" he ex
pected some attention. So one
morning when he turned up in my
shop about 10 o'clock, I said to. him:
" 'Jacob, you must have made an
early start to get here so soon. How
would you"like to have a bit of lunch
right away. Do you like oysters ? '
" 'Vy,' he said, 'I cbult eat a few
"Spwe went around to a neighbor
ing ; oyster bar and I ordered two
stews. " ' , .
"i'Now, Jacob,' said Ifatiile we are
wailing, what do you say to some
'"''Veil,' he replied, 'i don't .mind.'
"So we: had half-a-dozen, raw
apiece', and as the stews had not yet
come we. had another half-a-dozen on
the half shell.
When the stews were dispatched, I
asked, as a matter of form, if he
would not have another, and he said:
" Vell, them's pretty good oysters,
and I don't mind if I do ha another
"I nibbled biscuits while he ate stew
number two, and when he had fin
ished I said to him:
" 'They pan oysters very well here.
Dp you like panned oysters as well as
" 'Vy I- like oysters any "ray.- -1
don't mind if I haf a pan,'
"I ordered one for him, and that
disposed of I suggested aTew fried.
" 'Veil,' he. observed, I haf eat fried,
and fried is goot. I don't mind.' .
"By the time he had finished that
order and I made it a dozen t was
high noon, and I did not feel that I
could afford to test Jacob's capacity
further. So, paying the'bill, I piloted
him out, and as we walked along I
said to .him:
" 'Jacob, you're right fond of oys
ters, aren't you?'
" 'Villiam,' he replied, with more
animation than he ,had yet shown,
'I'm very fond of oysters. Vy, do you
know, I sometimes belief I coult make
a meal of 'em!' "
'WEAK IN FRENCH
"I'm surprised that your French is
so weak, Be"rtie," said the French
teacher. "Now, think for a moment
Chapeau. What is that?"
Bertie remained silent, apparently
lost in deep thought.
J "Well," said the teacher impatient
ly, "what does your father throw up
when he's merry?"
Bertie brightened. v
"His, job,, ma'am," he replied.
HE SOLVED IT
Jim Jt says here that soap is a
good thing for gnat bites.
Bertie Oh, go on! Now, I've been
wondering all my life what that stuff
was good' for.