OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, February 24, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-02-24/ed-1/seq-17/

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Billy, the grocer's boy, was lumber
ing up the kitchen stairs at Mrs,
Clarke's, with his arms filled with
"Boy," called out Mrs. Clarke,
somewhat sharply, from above, "are
wour feet clean?"
p, "Yes!m." was the prompt reply, as
tie continued climbing the stairs, "it s
pnly my shoes that's dirty." Phila
delphia Record.
P n n .
Small Boy Please, doctor, will
you come and see father at' once?
Doctor What is the matter with
your father?
Small Boy He can't stop laugh-
Ling,, sir.
i Doctor Whatever is he laughing
1, T- H-i.l. I TX 1
Sngue in the mangle.
With a look of extreme disgust on
his face, old Farmer Giles looked out
from the train on the outskirts of the
city, which he was visiting for the
first time.
Neither did he approve of the ap
pearance of a lady who had got into
the car a few stations back, and,
altogether, he was in a very grumpy
state of mind.
As the train neared the terminus it
passed a factory of some sort which
sent an appalling and altogether
overpowering odor in at the car
The farmer who had been observ
ing the crowded buildings on either
side of the line, turned sharply round
and beheld the lady holding'a. smell
ing bottle to her nose. This w$s too
much! With his face muffled in an
enormous red handkerchief, he leant
across to her:
"Madam," he shouted, choking
with wrath and the smell from the
factory, "for goodness' sake put the
cork back in that bottle again!" 1
o o
"Before you take this house," said
the honest real estate agent, "I wish
to tell you something that is against
"What's that?" asked Hemmand
haw. ' "
"It's right next to a boiler shop."
As he took out his wallet to make
the first payment, Hemmandhaw re
plied: "Oh, that's all right The family
next to where we now live has a par
rot, a phonograph and a. ' pair of
twins." Judge.
Saphead I say, professor, what is
the difference between the words "ac
cident" and "misfortune"?
Professor Well, if -your mother-
in-law fell into the water that would
be an accident But if somebody
fished her out again that would be a

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