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"Where's Tommy?" asked Mr,
Jones, on his retiirn from business
"Gone to bed," was his wife's reply,
"I hope he's not ill.''
"No, I sent him to bed as a punish
ment for swearing. '
"Swearing?" repeated Jones; "I'll
teach him to swear.
Without waiting for a light the an
gry father rushed Upstairs to inter
view the culprit, oiily to fall over a
lodse stair-rod and bump his chin. At
once he-became exceedingly fluent,
and when the, air had cleared he
heard his Wife call getttlyf
"Better, come down, dear; I'm sure
Tommy has heard enough for his first
SO,OUT OF PLACE
Nell I suppbBe it iB considered
gallant to kiss a girl's hand.
Belle Gallant, yes, but rather out
T GETTING EVEN
I Johnny squirted a ltit of dirty water
through the" banisters on the lodger's
head. Now that lodger was a nice
young man a very nice man so he
j did not say nasty things to Johnny or
to ms iatner.
But on Johnny's birthday he
bought a little card of tools, compris
ing a hammer, saw, screw-driver, etc.
Together with these he purchased
some tin tacks, and, putting them in
to a small box, he glued the box to
the card, and it looked very neat, as
if it were part and parcel of the outfit
"Now," lie said to Johnny, "you
will be able to make things for your
self. See how you will be able to drive
tacks' in,' and suiting the action to
the word he drove a tack into a piece
of wood. "Now you do one," said he,
handing the hammer to Johnny, and,
of course, Johnny did.
Later he drove another into his
father's armchair and into the drawing-room
table in fact, wherever
there was wood to receive them.
Before Johnny's father went to
bed, the nice lodger scattered a few
tacks on the stair carpet.
Later a peal of "language" sounded
through the stilly night
The next morning when Johnny's
father saw his furniture, of course he
understood all, and he called his little
son to him. And the nice lodger open
ed his door a little way and listened
with a satisfied smile upon his countenance.
DIDN'T KNOW SHEEP
"Now, Tony, if there were nine
teen sheep in a field and seven jump
ed over a wall, how many would be
"None, Miss Stowe."
"No. Tony, think again There
were nineteen sheep and seven jump
ed over the wall.
"Well, Miss Stowe, I think I know
what you mean; but, really, Mis3
Stowe, you may know arithmetic, but
of place. ,
ydii don't know sheep."