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Newspaper Page Text
i HIS LAWYER WOULD BE THERE
Gov. McGovern of Wisconsin tells
i - '"jo neighbors in the West got in-
ip a not ngnt over a une ience. iney
,vmet one day and recriminations followed.
Til law you through the circuit
urt,' belligerently declared one.
"Til be there,' replied the other,
" Til law you through the supreme
?ourt,' cried the first, shaking his fist
" 'I'll be there,' quietly repeated the
'"By gosh, I'll 'law you., through
hell,' shouted the first.
" 'My lawyer!! be there,' replied the
; IN TRAINING
"Young Ravenyelp is taking a cor
respondence course in elocution;"
"Does he expect to become a ly-
-"No; lie -expects to become a barber."
rf" I BETTER NOT TW.E
fjERE, HoU) fIM
I BETTER NOT TAKl
Not all the worms turn as gentle
and as tactful in their turning as the
one that a German paper recently
A quiet, patient little man had been
pushed about and trodden on by the
other passengers on a crowded street
car. For a long time he suffered in
silence. Then, in a meek voice, he
addressed an awkward youth stand
ing next to him.
"Young man," he said, "I hope you
will not think me rude, but may I ask
The youth stared at him a mo
ment, and replied, "Eighteen."
"Eighteen," repeated' the little man
softly. "Now really, young man, don't
you think you ought to be able to
stand on your own feet?"
There were some deficiencies in
the early education of Mrs. Donahoe,
but she never mentioned them or ad
mitted their existence.
"Will you sign your name here?"
asked the young lawyer whom Mrs.
Donahoe had asked" to draw up a deed
transferring a parcel of land to her
"You sign it yourself an' I'll make
me mark," said the old woman quick
ly. "Since me eyes gave out I'm not
able to write a wurrd, young man."
"How do you spell it?" he asked,
and poised above the proper place.
"Spell it whatever way you please,"
said Mrs. Donahoe recklessly. "Since
I lost me teeth there's not a wurrd in
the wurrld I can spell."
JUST LIKE THAT
Mr. James Baker, in his "Reminis
cent Gossip," tells this story:
A Yankee, who wanted reflected
glory, once accosted the hero -of the
American squadron, Admiral Dewey,
"Admiral, I'bet you don t remem
"You win," spid the admiral, and