Search America's historic newspapers pages from - or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 02, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
All ways to connect
Inspector General |
External Link Disclaimer |
1 HA !' WASH-OUT
"Wash out on the line, no mail,"
said signs in the San Diego postoffice
when Santa Fe trains were 24 hours
late during recent rain storm. "Postal
department trying to bust the laun
dry trust now," observed woman
tourist. Then a prospective purchas
er wired Los Angeles 'real estate deal
er that he could not get there to
look at some property. "Wash out on
line,"' was concluding sentence of
telegram R. E. dealer wired back:
"Borrow a union suit from someone
and come quick."
"Yes," said the retired insurance
agent, "I once induced a man to take
out a $50,000 life insurance policy,
and the very day after he got the
policy he dropped dead."
"I expect you wished your persua
sive powers had not been so success
"Well,. hardly. You see, I married
J ;ubrp amp dog, store .tr-
Fbfc How MUCH
SS ST. BERNARD
AT LEAST. A GALLON ' F"
BlRP amp Dqg. STORE :rEZi
J VON'VOT CARRIES plEij3 TEAS
SHE CALLED HIM
Five young men trooped into a"
shop each to buy a new hat. Scent
ing fun, the man behind the counter
"Are you all married?" he inquired.
"Yes!" they chorused.
"Then I'll give a hat to the man
who 'can truthfully say he has not
kissed any woman but his own wife
since he was wedded."
"Hand over the hat," said one of
the party. "I was married yesterday."
One of the others was spinning the
yarn to his wife when his laughter
suddenly gave way to fear.
"I say, John," she asked, "how
was it you didn't bring one?"
Freddy's father had been giving
him lessons in politeness, but hard
ly dared hope that the seeds of his
teachings had taken root. One day,
hearing noise coming from the nurs
ery, he investigated, and fouriil Fred
dy pounding his little brother:
"I'm surprised, Freddy," said his
father, sternly, "that you should hurt
your little brother. Don't you know
that it is very cowardly to strike one
who is smaller than yourself?"
"Yes," replied the culprit meekly,
"but when you thrashed me yester
day I was too polite to mention it."
After he had kissed' her and pressed
her rosy cheek against his, and patted
her soft, round chin, she drew back
"George, do you shave yourself?"
"Yes," he replied.
, "I thought so," she said. "Your
face is the roughest I ever "
Then she stopped; but it was too
late, and he went away with a cold,
heavy lump - in his breast. N. Y.
o y "
"You and I wear exactly the samo
"Then, are we soul-mates?'