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Newspaper Page Text
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flHD 3XX.S FAT MASTER
(ABUSE tfcU? YW)S.YA-S.
EOT I'M MsoieFRewT,
A WOMAN'S WAY
"I see the women are going to
wear medieval costumes in that suf-
fraget parade," remarked Mr. Smiles
pleasantly. What are you going to
wear, my dear?
"My medieval hat," said Mrs.
And there were no further remarks.
HAS ITS MISSION
"A little learning is a dangerous
thing," quoted the Wise Guy. "Oh, I
don't know," added the Simple Mug.
"It has its mission. If it wasn't for
.the young man just out of college
the rest or tne worm wouldn't realize
how little it knows." Philadelnhia
FORCE OF HABIT
Crawford There's no doubt the
-wise thing is to practice economy."
- Grabshaw But tnis is an extrava
gant age, and we seem to be out of
.practice. Judge. :
TIT FOR TAT
"Mother's compliments," said the
youngster, as he. marched cheekily
into a butcher shop in a busy sub
urban thoroughfare, "and she's sent
me to show you the big bone you sent
with the piece of beef she ordered
The man of meat resented this
complaint, for not only was his shop
full of customers at the time, but, one
and all, they tittered at the boy's re
marks. With anger in eyes, therefore, but
honey in his voice, the butcher turn
ed to the lad, and, "Tell your moth
er," he observed, "that next time I
kill a bullock without bones in him,
I'll make her a present of a joint."
The boy departed, and the butcher
rubbed his hands contentedly to
gether, for the other customers had
laughed frankly at his repartee.
Two minutes later the boy re
"Mother's compliments," he re
marked, "and she says hiext time you
find a bit of sirloin with a shoulder-of-mutton
bone in it she'd like to buy
the whole carcass as a curiosity!"
FOR A PURPOSE
'How do you like my arrangement
of the lights?" asked the hostess of
a lady guest at the dinner table.
'TTou mean having them of differ
"Yes. I do it for a purpose. You
see, some are blue, some red and
some white. Well, you know, one
has to invite people to one's house
whom one perfectly detests. The
other night I had to welcome the two
Misses Carr. r quite detest them, but
you must be friendly. They are very
pretty", but I put each of them under
a pale blue light and they looked per
fectly ehastly. They spent a verv
bad quarter of an hour and I was
happy;. Now "
The -hostess looked up and grew as
red as the light above her.
The other lady looked up too.
She was under a blue light! J