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Newspaper Page Text
Trix - ' " .
1 SEE -YOU BLOCK )
' SIGNAL SYSTEM. BUT J
I I HOW DOES HE TURN
ON THE SAFE SIDE '
"Yes," said the fond mother, as she
looked at her sturdy little son; "there
goes the boss of this house!"
"And the other children don't
mind?" queried her friend.
"Oh, no; he gets everything he
wants, bless him! But why doesn't
-Bridget come along with the tea-
Investigation proved that Bridget
had taken French leave for" the after
noon, and her return home at ten that
night was greeted with dark looks
from her mistress.
"You don't say you're returned?"
she said coldly. "Who, pray, gave you
permission to go off for the day?"
"The boss, mum."
"Now, don't tell lies!"
"Sure,, mum, ye told me the other
day if Oi wanted a holiday I was to
ask the boss. Oi gave him a sugar
stick, and he said he didn't care if I
REASON QUITE VALID
The train was somewhat full Still,
although he couldn't find a corner
; seat, there was really plenty of room
! for Algernon in the third-class
j "smoker" which perfprce he had to
i enter. Plenty of room, yes; but on
I the beat beside him lay a sack, whiv-h
' gave off a most fearsome smell.
"I say," remarked Algernon to the
yokel on the further side of the of
fensive bundle, "do you mind remov
ing that sack from the seat?"
"I do," replied the countryman. "I
mind very much."
Algernon was silent for a while.
"Unless you remove that sack," he
sighed. "I'm afraid I shall have to
call the guard."
"Then call the guard."
And the countryman continued
peacefully to pull at his pipe.
"Also the engineer," he added,
"and the fireman, and the station
master." Algernon's lips said nothing, but
his eyes said much. And at the next
station he duly carried out his threat.
The guard, being a peace-loving
man, tried to settle the dispute by
tactful, persuasive methods.
"Come, come!" he pleaded', after a
lengthy argument. "Why won't you
do as the gentleman asks, and shove
that bundle on the rack?"
"Why?" replied the countryman.
"Because it ain't mine."
"Drs. Smith and Jinks are going to
operate on Hawkins."
"Yep. Dr. Jinks wants a new car,
and Dr. Smith has a heavy note com
ing due." Pennsylvania Punch,
HOPE SO, ANYWAY
Blobbs Do you think we
know each other in heaven?
Slobbs I hope so. Few of us really
know each other here. Philadelphia