Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
A colored gentleman, on trial for
his life in a remote Tennessee town,
J was asked by the judge if he had any
thing to say, whereupon he replied:
"All I has to say is this, judge: If
you hangs me, you hangs the best
frbass singer in Tennessee." Every
CHARGING IT UP
"That lawyer of mine has a nerve."
"Listen to thisitem in his bill:
'For waking up in the night and
;thinking oyer your case, ten dol
lars.' " N. Y. World.
I t NOW THEY DON'T SPEAK
The dscusslon had become heated.
"But any donkey can see that,"
remarked one of them.
"That's where you have the ad-
vantage," was the other's polite re
joinder. In. y. world.
THE SAME OLD STORY
"Why, whatever-are you down at
this time of the morning for, my
dear?" exclaimed the elderly newly
wed. "I thought I'd like to give you your
breakfast, lovey," demurely answered
little Mrs. Podge.
Well, pleased, but dimly scenting
mystery, old P. fussed over his meal,
and prepared to depart.
"Have you a clean handkerchief,
dear?" inquired the wife. "And ought
you not to have your overcoat on?"
"Quite all right, little woman."
"I don't like to think of your go
ing to the station all by yourself,
lovey," she said prettily. "I'm coming
with you. Aren't you glad?"
But the old boy was thoroughly
awake now. Turning round on the
doormat, he said:
"Now, simmer down, my dear!
How much is it you want?"
. ' WHAT THEY WENT BY
Little Maggie, who is staying in the
country, always goes out to the
chicken run in the morning to see if
there are any eggs. The other day
she found none, except the china nest
"No eggs this morning," she an
nounced when she went back to the
house, "only the one the chickies
measure by." N. Y. World.
NOT FOR HIM
"See here, waiter, here's a piece
of wood in my sausage!"
"Yes, sir, replied the waiter, con
solingly, "but I'm sure er "
Sure nothing! I don t mind eat
ing the dog, but I'm blowed if I'm go
ing to eat the kennel, too!" N. Y.
"Dear me, I wish I. had never learn
ed to play cards!" exclaimed a man
who had been unfortunate in his play.
You mean you wish you had
learned, don't you?" was his wife's