Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1756-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Eg3 J Jfe OF VAKIMS AOOUV i f f&T BO(?raoiO SO CEMT& I- j MfNHY I JUST r i I IWPAWN HIS VIOUM? - THE GIVE-AWAY "Who gave the bride away?" "Her little brother. He stood up right in the middle of the ceremony and yelled. 'Hurrah! Fanny, you've got him at last!" N. Y. World. o o UNIQUE v "Upon wht does Torpidville b,ase its expectation that its name will go ihunderinsr down the aees?" "It. has Tint, asked' fnr a federal ro. serve bank." Judge. o o NOT SKIN DEEP .. Miss Catt She has a novel com- pplexlon S Miss Nipp Yes, but the novelty is "apt to wear off. Judge. o o . THE DIFFERENCE Willie Paw, what is the difference between genius and talent? Paw Talent gets paid every Sat urday night, my son. , CANT BLAME HIM The dinner hour over, the work men returned to their work that is to say, to the fierce political discus sion which the dinner hour had for tunately, perhaps interrupted. But proceedings soon reached a deadlock an ominous, interesting deadlock. The arguments on both sides seemed exhausted, and nobody's convictions had changed. Then one of the inen turned to a mate who had been 'silent throughout the debate. "Here, Joe," he said, "you're pretty good at argyment. Wot's your opin ion ? , "I ain't going to give no opinion," replied Joe. "Me and Jim Green thrashed out that matter last week." "Ah!" said the other man artfully. "And what did you arrive at?" "Arrive at, indeed!" There was bit terness and contempt in Joe's gruff voice. "Jim he arrived at the hos pital, and I well, I arrived at the perlice station!" o o UNDER HIS NOSE, NOT ON IT Once a genial comedian consulted an oculist about' his eyes. His nose was small and he couldn't keep on the glasses with which the oculist was trying to fit him. You are not used to glasses, Mr. Blank," said the oculist. "Oh, yes, I am," replied the com edian, "but not so high up." o o APPARENTLY "Pa, the paper says there's a crisis in Mexico. What's a crisis?" "A scarcity of news, my boy." Life. VERY SELDOM A man may brag about his rich relatives, but he seldom has a "touch ing" acquaintance with them. o o AYE, THAT'S IT The people who want their money to go a long way have some difficulty in letting it go at alL