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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 18, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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J Jfe OF VAKIMS AOOUV
i f f&T BO(?raoiO SO CEMT&
I- j MfNHY I JUST r
i I IWPAWN HIS VIOUM? -
"Who gave the bride away?"
"Her little brother. He stood up
right in the middle of the ceremony
and yelled. 'Hurrah! Fanny, you've
got him at last!" N. Y. World.
v "Upon wht does Torpidville b,ase
its expectation that its name will go
ihunderinsr down the aees?"
"It. has Tint, asked' fnr a federal ro.
serve bank." Judge.
NOT SKIN DEEP
.. Miss Catt She has a novel com-
S Miss Nipp Yes, but the novelty is
"apt to wear off. Judge.
. THE DIFFERENCE
Willie Paw, what is the difference
between genius and talent?
Paw Talent gets paid every Sat
urday night, my son. ,
CANT BLAME HIM
The dinner hour over, the work
men returned to their work that is
to say, to the fierce political discus
sion which the dinner hour had for
tunately, perhaps interrupted.
But proceedings soon reached a
deadlock an ominous, interesting
deadlock. The arguments on both
sides seemed exhausted, and nobody's
convictions had changed.
Then one of the inen turned to a
mate who had been 'silent throughout
"Here, Joe," he said, "you're pretty
good at argyment. Wot's your opin
ion ? ,
"I ain't going to give no opinion,"
replied Joe. "Me and Jim Green
thrashed out that matter last week."
"Ah!" said the other man artfully.
"And what did you arrive at?"
"Arrive at, indeed!" There was bit
terness and contempt in Joe's gruff
voice. "Jim he arrived at the hos
pital, and I well, I arrived at the
UNDER HIS NOSE, NOT ON IT
Once a genial comedian consulted
an oculist about' his eyes. His nose
was small and he couldn't keep on
the glasses with which the oculist
was trying to fit him.
You are not used to glasses, Mr.
Blank," said the oculist.
"Oh, yes, I am," replied the com
edian, "but not so high up."
"Pa, the paper says there's a crisis
in Mexico. What's a crisis?"
"A scarcity of news, my boy."
A man may brag about his rich
relatives, but he seldom has a "touch
ing" acquaintance with them.
AYE, THAT'S IT
The people who want their money
to go a long way have some difficulty
in letting it go at alL