Search America's historic newspapers pages from - or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 18, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
All ways to connect
Inspector General |
External Link Disclaimer |
! ' iNSTEAD-v
1 1 OP VAKIN6 ADOUV
; Afjgro ectff&uj so cemts (gL-
" f f FOR. BREAKFAST, Jz?
JjPlHY DOM'T I JUST J
. "Who gave the bride away?"
"Her little brother. He stood up
right in the middle of the ceremony
and yelled. 'Hurrah! Fanny, you've
got him at last!" N. Y; World.
t "upon wnt aoes Torpiavme Dase
.its expectation that its name will go
kfhundering down the ages?"
Pt "It has not asked for a federal re
serve bank." Judge.
. o o
NOT SKIN DEEP''
Lv Miss Catt She has a novel com-
Miss Nipp Yes, but the novelty is
pt to wear off. Judge.
Willie Paw, what is the difference
between genius and talent?
Paw Talent gets paid every Sat
CANT BLAME HIM
The dinner hour over, the work
men returned to their work that is
to say, to the fierce political discus
sion which the dinner hour had for
tunately, perhaps interrupted.
But proceedings soon reached a
deadlock an ominous, interesting
deadlock. The arguments on both
sides seemed exhausted, and nobody's
convictions had changed.
Then one of the men turned to a
mate who had been silent throughout
"Here, Joe," he said, "you're pretty
good at argyment. Wot's your opin
ion?" "I ain't going to give no opinion,"
replied Joe. "Me and Jim Green
thrashed out that matter last week."
"Ah!" said .the other man artfully.
"And what did you arrive at?"
"Arrive at, indeed!" There was bit
terness and contempt in Joe'sgruff
voice. "Jim he arrived at the hos
pital, and I well, I arrived at the
UNDER HIS NOSE, NOT ON IT
Once a genial comedian consulted
an oculist about his eyes. His nose
was small and he couldn't keep on
the glasses with which the oculist
was trying to fit him.
"You are not used to glasses, Mr.
Blank," said the oculist.
"Oh, yes, I am," replied the com
edian, "but not so high up."
"Pa, the paper says there's a crisi3
in Mexico. What's a crisis?"
"A scarcity of news, my boy."
A man may brag about his rich
relatives, but he seldom has a "touch
ing" acquaintance with them.
AYE, THAT'S, IT
The people who want their money
to go a long way have some difficulty
in letting it go at alL
urday night, my son.