Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Hill 'm: HK'e;
40 jsl !
When the late P. T. Barnum was
exhibiting his famous Siamese twins
they created a wonderful sensation.
A certain divine, accompanied by his
daughter, was much interested, and
! their curiosity was unbounded. The
j young woman asked where the twins
were born. Mr. Barnum told them
that they were born in Siam.
"And are they brothers?" asked
the clerical gentleman.
"Oh, yes!" said the world's greatest
"Well, well!" said the visitor.
"Think of that, Mary! How good and
kind of a gracious Providenec to al
low them to be brothers, and not to
have linked a pair of strangers to
gether for life!"
Mrs. Brown Did your husband
send you a valentine?
Mrs. Henpeck I never like to ac
cuse anybody! But I think he did!!!! ,
WASN'T CUTE ENOUGH
The grubby-looking man stood in
the doorway with determination on
; every line of his unshaven counte
i nance. The housewife who faced
him was equally determined.
"Yes, madam," said the shabby
man, "the guv-nor ses to me, 'Go and
git Mr. Jones' dress suit to be clean
ed and pressed. The lady'll give it
to yer.' The guv-nor's a tailor, you
"Oh!" replied the lady. "And did
you see Mr. Jones?"
"I did, mum," came the answer,
"wiv me own eyes. He ses, 'The
lady'll know. I left a message at
Plainly Mrs. Jones was perplexed.
The trickster felt he had nearly
achieved his object.1 The lady'.s re
ply finally crushed him, however.
"Well," she answered, "all I can
say is that Mr. Jones never had a
dress suit, and for the last five years
he's been in Canada!"
' Then the grubby man bolted.
SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE
"Blanche, dear," said the watchful
aunt to her niece, "don't you think
that Fred spends too much money
"Do you think so, aunty?"
"Indeed, I do, Blanche. I've been
noticing, and I think he's really ex
travagant. You ought to check him
and tell him to save his money. You
will need a good deal when you be
gin housekeeping, and it is far better
for him to put in the bank the money
he is now spending on motor trips
and luncheons and tickets to this
thing and that, than to be squander
ing it Think over the matter a min
ute or two, dear, and you will see it
as I do."
'Oh, I've thought about it already.
dear aunty. I'd take your advice if x
were absolutely certain that.we shall
be married, but I've been engaged be
fore, aunty, and I don't intend to ad
vise a young man again to economize
for some other girl's benef