Newspaper Page Text
T ( HE'bLWE ANOTHER r
j . LOOK AT CtiB,
T Jlllt . iii. i , 41
I "This ere boy's arter 1'arning," he
said to the schoolmaster. "What s
yer bill o' fare?"
"Our curriculum, sir," replied the
schoolmaster, "embraces geography,
physiology, arithmetic, algebra,
"That'll do. Load him up heavy
with trigernometry. He's the only
poor shot in the family." .
THE WORST OF IT
During the sermon at a certain
church a.;baby began to cryand the
mother immediately pickedit up and
began to carry it toward the .door.
"luStop!" the minister exclaimed.
'bon't go away. The baby is not
1 'The mother continued her wav to
$.the door with the very audible r.e-
FT "rth 'a ntn't ain't 'ft? "Rll'f unn'n
"Oo!" sobbed Mrs. Smith. "Oo,
I've bin deceived something cruel,
that I have!"
"Now, don't take on so," ventured
her friend, soothingly. "What's the
matter? Poor dear, you're upset by
the horrible accident which your hus
band was run over in."
"It ain't that," snuffed Mrs. Smith,
with a gulp. "He ain't hurt over
much, and they're letting him out of
hospital today. I've bin deceived
cruel, I have, and me heart's broke.
"Why, you know, when I married
Smith I was that proud of him! A
sweep he was, and doing well in his
trade, and always busy. And then
there was this here accident, and
when they took him to the hospital
and give him a bath ooer!" Mrs.
Smith broke down and gulped. "I'm
blowed if my old man didn't turn out
to be a nigger, after all!"
FIFTV CENTS AN HOUR
The bazaar was invfull swing, and
going grandly. Everybody was swin
dling everybody else, and the rain had
held off all the morning.
"They be wonderful things, these
bayzaars," observed an old farmer,
who had just paid 50 cents for an ugly
flower-vase, and regretted it "The
money do put on wings, surely!"
His wife nodded her head a great
many times in agreement. V
T could have bought that vase at
Jones' store, Jim," she said, "for 25
Then they came upon a stall over
which a sign ran, "Luncheon, 1 to 3
m., 50 cents.
"Ah, iome, lass; this be more in
our line!" exclaimed the old man,
brightening up considerably. "Two
hours steady eating bean't so bad for;
o o - i
Blobbs That fellow Bjones is a
mighty quarrelsome sort of fellow.
Slobbs Yes, even his own state
a-dteturbin' of ''im !" Top-Notch. ,
ments conflict. J