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Newspaper Page Text
one finds the card, as they should
if the romance worked according to
romantic rules, so Anna puts her
hand out under the door and waves
it around until it attracts attention.
She is rescued;- -The door, which
was caught with a little piece of wire,
is thrown open. On the floor is the
unconscious girl. Physicians gather
about, une or tnem says, according
to Anna, who was unconscious, "I am
afraid to take a chance with this girl;
she may die here. We must get her
in the County Hospital."
The ambulance arrives. Anna is
still unable to speak, but she writes
another note and reveals the fact
that her $19 has mysteriously disap
peared. At the County Hospital, how
ever, her closed eyes open slowly, and
she regains her vocal powers with
such alarming speed that she is sent
to the Desplaines streetstation.
Now, a truly romantic person
would not doubt Anna's story, for we
all have our dreams. But Captain
Meagher was really cruel. He decid
ed that Anna had faked the whole
story because she didn't have $19 at
any time and wanted to convince her
mother she had, so he would not
credit the romance, whereupon Anna
hit him in the face with her pocket
book and was locked up.
She was released on bonds signed'
by her mother yesterday, and it was
suggested that an old-fashioned
whipping awaited hereon her arrival
But I hope notf-for, after all, ro
' mance is the best frjend we have to
brighten the houra when life is so
very practical. In- Anna-'s case I
should riot, recommend anything
more severe than a, few less moving
picture shows, a few less novels, and
considerable more old-fashioned
'Rah for Marconi! Three Vans for
Marconi! He's operated his 'wireless
telephone over a 45-mile circuit.
Won't life, be a joy when there's no
more "wire's busy"? . t
EVER DONE IT?
By H. M. Cochran.
There's lots of fun on a sjeighride
When girls are along.
When everybody is laughin' hearty
And singin' a song.
It's great to snuggle under the robes
When it's kinda cold.
And it sure is great for all the girls
When the boys get bold.
It's fine to join with the whole blame
Yellin' out loud.
You can raise lots of Cain, all right,
all right, , J
When you're in a crowd. '
It's a blame good hunch to stick with
Where doings are grand.
But. it's best, I say, to steal ahead in
And hold her hand.
FUNKHOUSER'S IDEA DOESN'T
FIT WITH THE COPS
"Every policeman a lawyer" is the
motto of Major Funkhouser.
The constitutional rights of a coal
wagon driver to yell "Giddap" and
send his horses across a crowded
corner two seconds before the traffic
policeman blows his whistle revery
policeman ought to know all about
these constitutional rights.
So Funkhouser has given orders
that policemen must study up on the
After standing several hours in
heavy shoes on the asphalt, whistling
to guide the roaring tides of traffic,
the policeman before he can take off
his uniform and hit the hay for a
good night's sleep must look over
a list of questions on statutory man
dates enacted by an 'Illinois legisla
Policemen are predicting, that one
of these days the Maje will come tb
bat with an order that every cop must
study how to make a .speech in court,
so as to argue his own cases before