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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 26, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-03-26/ed-1/seq-17/

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UP-TO-DATE GIRL
It was after her birthday, and the
nrae maia m eignt was sitting ois
consolately by the nursery-window.
"Aren't you going to play with your
neprdoll?" asked her-mother.
"No," -aid; the Jiffl'girl. - . r
"Oh, buVybu wanted a. nice dolly.
One that talked, didn't you?"
fto"risponse.
"And '.this one says . 'Ma-ma!"
Tapa!'"
The little maid's eyes flashed as she
replied:
"I'.want a doll that says 'Votes for
.women.' "Top-Notch. '
' " . o
USErFOR everything
A'provincial editor found one night
thit'.JSe 'had neither .advertisements
nor, copy; for his thirfl page. The page
accordingly-1 appeared .blank, with a
note. in small type atthe top:
'fThis space will be useful for the
children to write upon!"
j '
SEAGOING SPORTSMEN
Two negrb roustabouts at New Or
leans were continually bragging
about their ability as long-distance
swimmers and a steamboat man got
up a match. The man who swam the
longest- distance was to receive five
dollars.
The "Alabama Whale" immediately
stripped on the wharf, but the "Hu
man Steamboat" said that he had
some business and would, return in a
few minutes. The Whaleswam the
river four or five times for exercise,
and by that time the Human Steam
boat returned. Tied round his neck
were, as dozen packages, containing
bread; flour, bacon and other eat
ables. The Whale gazed at his oppo
nent in amazement.
"Whar yo vittles?" demanded the
Human Steapiboat. '
"Vittles fo what?" asked the
Whale.
"Don't yo' ask me fo' nothin' on
the way ovab' warned the Steam
boat i"Ma,h,fust stop is New York,
an' mah next stop: is London" Top
Notch; i
l ; 0 0
SHE GOT HIM
"I couldn't get out of marrying
her," jHenpeck explained. "When
she proposed she-said, 'Will you mar
ry me? Have you any objection?'
You se, nc matter whether I said
'Yes' or;'No;' she had me."
"Why' didn't you just keep silent,
then?"
'That's -what I did, and she said,
'Silence gives consent,' and that end
ed it"-N.Y. World.
o o
A TIMELY SENTENCE
trust your worship will excuse
me this .time," said -a habitual drunk
ard at the police court; "it is my mis
fortune I am a child of genius."
"And what is your age?" question
ed the magistrate.
"Forty-two years.
"Then it is time you were weaned.
You'll have to do fourteen days away
from the bottle.'' Top-Notch.
SI

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