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Newspaper Page Text
. . . '
UNCLE JOE DOESN'T LIKE BRAZILIAN RATTLER
SORT OF TAME, NEVER POISONS ANYONE
Washington, D. C. "Uncle Joe"
Cannon doesn't think so much of
those Brazilian rattlesnakes, and he
doesn't think much of Col. Roose
velt's efforts to become the St. Pat
rick of Brazil.
Says Secretary of War Garrison to
Uncle Joe: "Heard about T. R.'s
latest stunt in South America try
ing to run the snakes out of Brazil?
Picked up a 10-foot rattler at a snake
fight the other day and began
preaching to the natives about the
habits of their own snakes."
"Fooling 'round with rattlers now,
is he?" hissed Cannon. "What kind
of goll-darned tame old snakes have
they got down there in Brazil? Don't
they ever poison anyone?"
THE MISTAKE HE MADE
"There have been times in my life,"
said he gloomily, "when I was tempt
ed to commit suicide."
"Oh, well," she said, "it's-Tio use to
grieve over the past. We can all look
back and see where we've made mis
takes." o o l
USING HIS KNOWLEDGE
"I want to be procrastinated at de
nex' corner," said the negro pas
senger to the tramcar conductor.
"You want to be what?" demanded
J "Don't lose your temper. I had to
look in de dictionary myse'f befo' I
found out 'dat 'procrastinate' means
'put off.' " Top-Notch.
A leather belt in an English fac
tory has been running at a speed of .
1,800 feet a minute from nine to
twelve hours a day for more than