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Newspaper Page Text
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Willie was struggling through the
story of his reading lesson.
" 'No,' said the captain," he read,
" 'it was not a sloop. It was a larger
vessel. By the rig I judged her to be
The word was new to him.
"Barque," supplied the teacher.
Still Willie hesitated.
"Barque!" repeated the teacher,
this time sharply..
Willie looked as though he had nojt
heard aright. Then, with an appre
hensive glance around the class, he
"You don!; make very good music
with that instrument," -aid a by
stander to the man with the bass
drum, as the band ceased to play.
"No," admitted the1 pounder of the
drum, "I know I don't; but I drown a
heap of bad music."
MORE WAYS THAN ONE
"What a horse!" said the villagers,
as old Farmer Stinge drove into the
little market town. "Why don't ye
feed the poor brute?"
"It's all skin an' bone, with a head
big 'nough for three nags!" said the
old hostler at the George Inn, as the
miserable looking beast was driven
into the inn yard.
"I must get him a new collar," said
Stinge to the hostler.
A week later old Stinge went in a
temper to the saddler.
"What do you mean by making
my horse's collar this size?" he
blurted out. "It's too small! I can't
get it over his head!"
"Over his head!" yelled the sad
dler. "Do you think I've got time to
waste? Man alive, it wasnt made
,to go over his head. Back him into
HE GOT IT
A man entered an inn with a dog,
and an Irishman asked what breed
The owner looked the questioner
insolently up and down, then replied
with a drawl:
"It is a cross between an ape and
"Faith, thin, we're both related to
the beast," was the ready retort.
Rustic I see you are painting
those old trees.
Artist Yes, I am; but it's no busi
ness of yours. Instead of interfering
with me, you had better get on with
Rustic well, my work is tq chop
them down, so hurry up with your
o o i
THE GIVE-AWAY ,
"Who gave the bride awayZ"
"Her little brother. He stood up
right in the middle of the ceremony
and yelled, 'Hurrah! Fanny, you've
got him at last!' "