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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 27, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 5

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-03-27/ed-1/seq-5/

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ONE MAN'S OPINIONS
BY N. D. COCHRAN.
Henry Allen's Mouth. Henry A.
Allen, Progressive candidate for gov
ernor of Kansas, made a good start
right here in Chicago in 1912 when
he fought a good fight against Pen
rose, Crane, Barnes et al. And Henry
got along first rate after that, be
ing very handy with his mouth and
having the courage of his vociferos
ity. But when Henry came to Chicago
a few days ago and took his mouth
in hand to tell the folks all about
President Wilson's canal tolls" policy,
Henry's foot slipped, or his fingers
twitched, or something else happened
that made him let go of his vocifer
ator and his mouth got away from
him, something to the following ef
fect: "There is absolutely nothing in the
Hay-Pauncefote treaty to give Eng
land the slightest ground for her pre
posterous claim, and I say that the
executive of this nation is a coward."
I believe it was Sunset Cox any
how, it was somebody who. once got
up in Congress and recited a pome
about some fellow who loved to hear
himself bubble. Here's the pome that
Henry A. Allen's mouth reminded me
of:
He loved its giddy gurgle;
J He loved its fluent flow;
He loved to wind his mouth up;
And he loved to hear it go.
I guess that was what wes the mat
ter with Henry. Out on the Kansas
prairies a man with forty-horse pow-
er lungs and an open-mouthed ex
haust, thrown wide open, can scat
ter his thoughts over a wide expanse
of territory and without too much
concentration of vociferation in any
. one spot.
And out there Henry was perfectly
at home. He could blow his bazoo
from morn to night and" never get, his
ample feet tangled up in the reverba
tions. All he had to do was to aim his
face toward the west and cut loose,
for he would know that nothing could
stop his oratory until it hit the Rocky
mountains, slid up the sides, bounded
over and kept on bouncing until it
slid into the "fog banks' of the Pacific.
But Chicago is different. Here it
is against the. rules for an automo
bile to smqke in public or to tear
along the boulevards and through the
parks with the muffler wide open.
For the, comfort, peace of mind and
frayed necves of us city folk, the law
has kindly ruled against unpleasant
and nerve-racking noises. And even
though Henry be the Big Noise in
Kansas, he should can the chatter
when he comes to the Big Town and
remember that even though a bird
in the hand runs deep, still water is
worth two in the bush. (
-N And for Henry's own good, and so
that he can get that "loud applause"
he cordially. welcomes, I suggest that
the next time Henry takes his mouth
in hand, to talk about President Wil
son, he let go of the British lion's
tail so he can hang onto his mouth
with both hands.
o o
"Grandpa, I know why Nero burn
ed Rome."
"Well, why do you suppose he
did?"
"He was peeved at having to take;
violin lessons."

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