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Newspaper Page Text
FBY tER VAY, ATOLPH. VOT
KIND OF CRACKERS iss
AN OBJECT LESSON
. A minister was-addressing a school
DClass recently, and was trying to en-
rforce the doctrine that the hearts of
the little ones were sinful and needed
regulating. ' Taking out his watch
and holding it up, he said:
; "Now, here is my watch; suppose
it doesn't keep good time now goes
too fast, and now too slqw. What
shall I do with it?"
"Sell it!" shouted the- 'class
unison. N. Y. World.
TO CAPITALIZE PROSPECTS
Mr. Rocks So you want to marry
ny daughter. Well, young man,
what are vour nrosDects?
IK VmiTip- Man Tbrnftllent if vnn
Mbn't'spoil them. Judge.
"I enjoy your wife's playing. She
has such a delicate touch."
"Yes, she gets that from practicing
"Man, you're a perfect fool!"
growled the officer, as, red of face,
he strode up to O'Grady, the new
recruit. "You're spoiling all our
"I'm doing my best, sorr," came
the hurt reply.
Bang, bang, went the reports of the
"Now, look here, my man, get
down and do your seven rounds on
No. 7 target, and there'll be trouble
for you if there is no improvement!"
Inwardly reviling the wild moment
ihat had prompted him to enlist,
O'Grady lay down to his task.
Apoplectic of feature, the officer
blustered up to him again.
"What target did you aim for?"
''No.' 7, sorr, as you said."
"But you've hit No. 6 every time!"
shrieked the other.
"Sure!" hotly retorted O'Grady,
Ould Oireland rising within him.
"An what does it matter? In war
time I might aim for a private and v
hit a gineral!"
"I asked him how to get rich, and
he told me, but I shan't follow his advice."
"I don't like his methods."
"Not at all. He said he simply
saved his money instead of spending
it .for everything he thought he
wanted." St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
"I see you have recovered from the
measles, Johnny," said the primary
"Yes'm," replied Johnny, "but ma
says that they are still in my cistern."
o o -
"Mother, dear, is Grimm the great
est author of fairy tales?"
Grimm is dead, my dear. Your
father Is now.