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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, March 30, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-03-30/ed-1/seq-17/

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THE EGG-FISH
Perfcival, swelling with pride at his
own audacity, led the fair Prunella to
a tame in tne corner or tne restau
rant. Though he had a spirit above
his degree, he' had never yet dared to
enter quite such a "swell plac"e"
to use his own words before.
The waiter approached, and Per
cival lookei.at him with a serenity he
"did not feel. With nervous eyes he
glanced up from the menu:
,i "Bring me, please, a dozen oy-r
sters!" he demanded, while Prunella
looked at him in adoring admiration.
"Very sorry, sir,." answered the
vaiter, "but we are out of all shell
fish except eggs." -I-
"Ah, well t" .said Percival, throwing
$own the lengthy menu. "Bring me
jjwo boiled eggs!"
JUST WHY . r
"Why is. hen immortal?"
"Dunno. Why is she?"
"Because fiery son never sets."
HER AWKWARD POSITION
Flaxen and forty was Gretchen H.
Schmidt, but her chief happiness in
life lay in the belief that she looked
but twenty.
Dressed in her most fetching get
up, she tripped along to the bank to
change a cheque that a kindly provi
dence had wafted in her direction.
Incidentally, be it remembered, Gret
chen H. S. had her own views on the
attractions of the bank cashier.
Smiling the approved dentine
smile, at the danger of the loss of her
false teeth, she approached the bank
counter, and boldly endorsed her
cheque: "Gretchen Schmidt,"
"Vill you cash dis for me?" she
inquired of "the cashier.
"I'm afraid you have not endorsed
this quite correctly," heN said, point
ing to her signature. "You have for
gotten the TL' "
Gretchen blushed furiously.
"Is it dat it is necessarie?" she
asked.
"Yes, madam; it must be quite ac
curate and written in full."
With trembling hand, amid tears of
mortification, Gretchen H. S. wrote:
"Age forty-one!"
o o
GETTING HIM RIGHT .
"Well, did you discover anything in
Stump's paBt life that we can use
against him?"
Detective Not a thing. All he ever
did before he came here was to sell
awnings.
Election Agent Why, that's just
what we want. We'll say that he.
has been mixed up in some decidedly
shady transactions. Top-Notch.
o o
WHAT WE MAY COME TO
"Why did you leave your last
place?" a lady asked an applicant for
the post of parlor-maid.
'Shure, mum, the applicant re
plied, "I left because they insisted on
me usin' the old-fashioned-biplane,
with niver a chance at the smart new
French monoplane that's all the go
now.
1

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