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" 'As a colonel I find the situation
humiliating. I must find a regiment
somewhere to command.'
"The next day we still had no regi
ment, but 'BQstonhad a mule a
sorrel mule witK'a bobbed tail.
" 1 will not ask you how you came
by the animal,' said Storey.
" 'Thank you,' said 'Boston.'
"Then we started out from Salinas
Cruz one colonel, one major, two
lieutenants and a sorrel mule with a
bobbed tail to find a regiment.
"We found it at Twentipeqe. The
Twentipeqe Indians are the hand
somest people in the world the de
scendants of Aztecs, they say and
they like to fight..
"In three days we had an army of
800 men, 400 horses, 200 mules and
MAnd we marched to Mazatian,
where we had our- first engagement
"War is glorious, is it not, my
friend? It's fine to be a soldier. I
saw 80,000 bales of cotton, 200,000
sacks of coffee and 5,000 sacks of
cayenne pepper go up in flames. I
saw 75,000 sheep and pigs slaugh
tered. "See how glorious is war! One
day a sunny, smiling land beneath a
smiling sky. The next day the sky
darkened with the wings of vultures
hovering in the smoke above
smoldering ruins, while below lie
beasts and men together, rotting and
stinking in the tropic heatJ-
The rebel troops retired under
cover of the night and reformed at
Leppe, where, in a pitched battle, we
beat them decisively and took 80
prisoners that we didn't want.
"Storey and 'Boston' had left us on
a foray, and -'Bristol' and I were"
guarding the prisoners, when they
turned on us, overpowered us and
.marched us to a mountain pass near
the border of California, where was
camped Gen. Lorenzo Mendez.
"There we were clapped into a log
prison with a Jamaica nigger as
"And there we stayed cooped up
in cells and chained by the wrests to
the walls, for- more than a month.
Now and again a prisoner was taken
out and didn't come back. We could
hear the volleys, though. .
- "Then, one day, Father Gomez and
the jailer came, and loosened 'Bris
tol,' though I don't know why, and
Father Gomez set paper and a pot of
ink before me and told me to write
the answer to a question. If I did
he promised he would loose both my
wrists. In order that I might write
he set my right hand free.
"X did, not know the answer to his
question, but when I told hinr so he
said I lied, and whaled me overthe
head with a ruler.
"Then 'Bristol'' set his stout fin
gers in Father Gomez' fat neck and
the Jamaican drew his sword to cut
my comrade down, but with my free
right I heaved the instand into his
black face with such force that It
gouged out an eye.
"We got the keyes from Father
Gomez, who was all but dead, and a
minute later were beating it on the
fat priest's donkey for the gulf of
Twentipeqe. We won" through all
right, but the .last of our pursuers
took a pot-shot at us before turning
hack and drilled poor 'Bristol'
through the kidneys.
"I packed him to the'Jjeach, hoping
to save hinij but he went" off, into a
sleep as sweet as a Babys, but a
bloomin' sfght more lasting.
"Iburied him in the sand and came
by water to' Oakland, Cal., to the land
of the free and the home of the
EAT VARIETY OF FOOD
v. We should train our appetites and
stomachs by eating a great variety, of
food. Don't let the stomach shirk.
You work let the stomaeh do the
Put small screws, tacks, nails and
hrads into a nerfectly dry brass can.
Set on shelf in plain view and avoid
useless hunting when needed.