OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 01, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-04-01/ed-1/seq-17/

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pffiER EXERCISE OF A "FCW SJMPtB ) i!
iiJLES top CAN BECOME A APObW).
BOOT MEAT
Talking about a shortage of food at
d one period during bis last expedition,
Sir Ernest Shackleton tells an amus-
f ing story of one of bis companions.
On his return to England his boot-
"maker met him, and asked:
"How did you find those boots I
ftnade for you?"
"Best I ever tasted!" was the
prompt reply.
o o
PERFECTLY PLAUSIBLE
H CautiouS Customer But if he's a
young horse, why do his legs bend
so?
Dealer Ah, sir, the poor animal
has been living in a stable too low for
Ihim, and he'd had to stoop.
n n
THE$?
I "So you think a woman should get
'the wagefe of a man?"
4 "It depends, on whether she is mar
ed to him or not."
B.UT NOT UNHONORED
Little Robert was having a party.
He was the apple of his mother's eye
whatever that is and she believed
him to be something quite out of the
ordinary and so he was!
Directly his little guests arrived,
they, and their unhappy parents,
were taken to see darhng Robert's
prizes won in the fields of learning
and sport. The sporting ones were
mostly consolation prizes, won at
sack-racing "when the other entrants
had fallen down. The rest were for
good conduct, darling Robert not
having the spirit to do anything
naughty.
"And what is this splendid chal
lenge cup for?"
"Oh, that," replied the beaming
mother, "is for the three-mile cross
country handicap last year!"
"Oh, really ! Why, I thought young
.Harrison won that?"
"Well er in a way, of course, he
did. But we gave this to Robert
ourselves, because he wouldhave
won only he did not hear the
starter's pistol go off!"
O-t-O
SADLY FOOLED
He was one of the smart men who
like to show their cleverness.
"See rae make him look small.'' he
said, as the beggar approached. Then,
he listened solemnly to the tale of
hard luck.
"That's the same old story you told
me last week," he said, when the va
grant had finished.
"Is Jt?" was the reply. "P'r'aps T
did, pVaps I did," he admitted; (but
I'd quite forgotten meeting you for
the moment I was in jail last week,
and there was such a lot of us, yo.ii
DIEZY.
"I should think the South-Americans
would be an awfully dizzy peo
ple." "You wouldj"
''Yes., so" many revolutions, job
know." jg
i
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