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Newspaper Page Text
SUCH A NICE MAN
The grandfather's clock in the cor
ner of the club smoking"-room had
boomed out the hour of midnight,
when waiters yawn and wish they
were in bed.
Several members sat down, read
ing the evening papers and chatting
together, but little Mr. Banks remain
ed silent in his corner, wearing a wor
ried look as well as a dress-suit.
To him came his Mend Tanks.
"What's the matter, old chap? You
look almost worried to death," said
The truth is my wife is horribly
ill in fact, the doctor says she must
onno accbunt receive any sudden
shopk, and "
r'Then why arenjt you at home in
stead of messing .about, at the club?,
I'm surprised atypuJBanks I really
an!" ..a - j r, -f
"Thals just t Tanks. It's only-just,
aftertjtw!elYg,--attd"ii went home? as
earlyyi's. uit .would give my dear,
wife, the; shook, of tTier life!"
.. THOSE CHICKENS
Pouter and Pooke dabbled in poul
try. .Most, of their evenings, were
spent in relating stories to illustrate
the intelligence of their own chick
ens. "Wonderful creatures hens are!"
announced Pouter one night. "And
so adaptable! I have one boss-eyed
old cackler who would hatch out a
bottle if you sat her on a piece of
broken glass! As a matter of fact,
only a few weeks ago she hatched
out about three pints of water" from a
piece of ice! It came in useful at the
"Ay, ay!" answered Pooke. "It's a
wonderful thing, is Nature!- Annld
hen of mine name of Virginia
don't care a brass straw what she's
fed on, and last week, for a jokemy
boy gave her sawdust every day.
But she never said a word not she!
But she laid seven eggs right enough
and sat on 'em, too! When they
hatched out six of 'em had a wooden
leg apiece, and the seventh was a
A minister wrote to asTc leava of
an Episcopal clergyman to take a
funeral seryice in the churchyard.
The courteous clergyman wrote back
by return of post:
"Dear Mr. Smith, please under
stand that I shall be delighted to see
you in our churchyard at any time."
THE VERY WORST
The Damsel So you're an old sol
dier? What was the worst engage
ment you were ever in? x
The Merchant When I was en
gaged to my landlady's daughter for
three weeks, miss!
"I've been terribly busy lately, my
"What's going on?"
"Oh, nothing more than usual. But
there are so-many, new families in.
our community, you know."