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Newspaper Page Text
KiSfg!Sr!SoiS'l-'ttttn. "" "" "VTtf- "fiiip '
flfeSsyss A OCXS b0 QAH HAF. V
jYtHEE, I WFAto CURIOSITY
r ft J? VOT BECOM-s ot? HlKl vv
, A teacher trying to impress on her
children the lightness of kindness to-
feMyard all animals took them for a
walk, to brine the lesson honifi to
hem relates the Delineator.
L? Hearing a scream from little John-
tiv hTia nnlrprt- "Whnt'n tfio rnoHar
I've been sitting on a hornet," was
he tearful response, "and I'm afraid
rye hurt the poor little thing."
"Now this beautiful country," said
the real estate agent, "has the at-
rtraction of natural gas."
'Did it have it before you came
here?" asked the visitor. N. Y.
"Waiter, this egg is spoiled."
"Don't wonder, sir. It's high costi
as probably turned its head, sir."
NONE THE WISER
A Scottish visitor to the Carlyles in
Chelsea was much struck with the
sound-proof room which the sage had
contrived for himself in the atticr
lighted from the top, and where no
sight or noise from outside could
"My conscience, this is fine!" cried
the old friend with unconscious sar
casm. "Here ye may write and study
all the rest sf your life and no human
being be one bit the wiser."
Two men in a restaurant were dis
puting as to what a pineapple really
was. One insisted that it was a fruit
and the other insisted it was a vege
table. The men finally decided to
accept the decision of the waiter, who
"Waiter," said one of them, "Is a
pineapple a fruit or Is it a vegetable?,"
"Its neither, gentlemen; a pineap
ple is a hextra!" Harper's-Weekly,
o o ,
Mother Johnny, you said you'd
been to Sunday school.
Johnny (with a far-away look)
Mother How does it happen that
your hands smell of fish?
Johnny I carried home the Sun
day school magazine, an' the outside
iSs all about Jonah and the whale.
"My husband sees pink elephants
when he drinks."
"Mine has a worse delusion than
that. He sees green dogs. It's expen-
sive,.too." - '
"How's that?" r
"Why, he goes and buy licenses for
OF COURSE ""
"I want ten pounds of coffee." (
"In the bean?" I '
"Then you'd better go down to the
ground ff6of."W."y. World,