OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 08, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-04-08/ed-1/seq-17/

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SHSBHR!
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ft r I
FOOLED AGAIN
A gentleman at a fancy fairlately,
being solicited to "buy something by
a young lady who kept a stall, said
he wanted to buy what was not for
sale a lock of her hair. She prompt
ly cut off the coveted curl and re
ceived the sum asked for it namely,
$5. The purchaser was showing his
trophy to a friend.
L ('She rather had you!" said the
jlfnend; "to my certain knowledge she
tPnly paid ?3 for the whole wig.
I. o o
I- TO TIRED
"But why did you break your en
gagement to him?"
"Because he was too tiresome. He
always asked permission when he
-wished to kiss me."
ON THE WAY
r Victim Mercy! That isn't the righjt
tooth you've' pulled.
Dentist Be patient, madam; I'm
coming tout.
"JEST SET"
Irving Bacheller, the author, one
summer penetrated Newfoundland.
He was particularly impressed by the
men who spent the day lounging
about the village stores.
"What do you fellows do when you
sit around the store like this?" he
asked of thecrowd arranged in a cir
cle of tilted chairs and empty boxes
and maintaining a profound silence.
"Well," drawled one of the oldest,
"sometimes we set and think, and
then again other times we jest set."
o o
THINK OF IT
The solemnity of the meeting was
somewhat disturbed when the elo
quent theologian pictured in glowing
words the selfishness of men who
spent their evenings at the clubs,
leaving their wives in loneliness at
home.
"Think, my hearers," said he, "of a
poor, neglected wife, all alone in the
great dreary house, rocking the
cradle of her sleeping babe with one
foot and wiping away her tears with
the other."
PERFECTLY WILLING -
Maid I've come to give notice,
ma'am.
Mistress Indeed ?
Maid And would you give me a
good reference, ma'am? I'm going
to Mrs. Jones, across the way.
Mitsress The best in the world,
Maggie. I hate that woman. New
York Globe.
HIS CIRCUS THOUGHTS
"Say, ma, were you really a trained
nurse before pa married you?"
"Yes, darling."
"Well, let's see some of your tricks,
will you?" -
o o
PROOF
"What d'ye think?"
"What's up?"
"Here's a fellow trying to tell me
I'm no mathematician and can read
my own gas meter." N. Y. WorlcL.
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