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Newspaper Page Text
I L iOLJr VOU lb TAVEFRITZIE" "l I
i .1 Tb"CEI2 DOS SHOW, UND DO I
lj, FIND HIM 3ERef VHsSj NO I )
v. 1 FIND HIM IN 35ER- S
Tommy-had teased, begged and
implored his father to buy him a
watch. The impatient father's an-
rswer was, "No: once and for all, no!
Idf I hear you mention the word watch
;again, I shall punish you severely!"
That evening the family assembled
j,at the dining table, and, as was their
custom before eating, each repeated
a verse from the Bible.
When Tommy's turn came, he said,
"What I say unto one of you, I say
unto all pf you watch!"
The watch was forthcoming.
"When Beanbrough was in Florida,
45he sent what he said was a postcard
y picture of a big fish he caught."
"Is that so?"
"Yes; but, you know, he is a trifle
tjcJearsfghted, and the postcard he
XZIZpicked out bore the picture of a sub
X I marine boat"
f FIRST AID
A train slowed up at a busy station,
and a man was seen to put his head
excitedly out of the window of a
"There's a woman in here fainted!"
he cried. "Has any one got any
brandy or whisky? Quick!"
Some one in the crowd on the plat
form handed him a bottle. He un
corked it frantically, put it to his lips
and took a noble pull.
f "Ah," he sighed; "that's better. It
always did upset me to see a woman
HER ORDER FILLED
A certain surly old Yankee who
runs a small summer hotel on the
coast once received a letter from a
prospective "guest" who wrote to en
gage "two large,, sunny rooms over
looking the ocean and connecting
with private bath."
One may imagine the lady's sur
prise at getting the following curt
"Dear Madam: All rooms face the
ocean, and that's your bath."
BABY'S COLOR LIIE
A young mother, who had just re
turned from India, engaged $ new
nurse for her baby. The nurse came
to her and said: "I don't know what's
the matter, madam, but the little one
cries and cries. I can do nothing to
quiet it." The mother thought a mo
ment; theri, brightening up, she said:
"I remember now. Baby's last nurse
was a black one. You will find the
stove-polish on the third shelf in the
o o ,
NOT FOR HIM
Cyrus (entering a sixteenth-floor
office, panting) Them stairs must
be sev'ral miles long!
Lawyer Why didn't you come up
in one of the elevators there?
Cyrus Not much! I jes see one
of 'em full o' people fall down that
hole there! Bohemian.
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