OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 11, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-04-11/ed-1/seq-17/

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BUSY DAYS
" "Gent uptown telephones for an
officer at once. Burglar in the house."
"Let me see," said the captain, re
flectively. "I've got four men censor
ing plays, two inspecting the gowns
at a society function, and two more
supervising a tango tea. Tell him I
can send him an officer in about two
-hours."
V , I nc KCHU DCUIIXNCKS
Ravenyelp The modern play
ems to be nothing more nor less
han the dramatization of biological
impulses. Can you tell me who start
ed this sex question, anyway?
Bi'ffstick I don't know, unless it
was the Flbrodora Sex Tette. Judge.
0 o
CRUEL MAY
"He threatened to drown himseh if
I refused him."
- 'What did you say?"
CLEANED IT UP
The appetite of the guest was a
keen one, and he was doing full jus
tice to the excellent dinner. The little
daughter of the house watched him
open mouthed for a while. Then, fin
ally, she, smiled on him brightly and
said:
"Oh, I do wish you were here to
dinner every day."
The guest beamed with satisfac
tion. "Do you, my dear? Why?" he in
quired. "Because," came the unexpected
reply, "there won't be anything cold
to eat tomorrow."
RESPONSIBLE
"Mabel, I'm drawn on the grand
jury."
"So am I, Gertrude."
"Our responsibilities will be heavy."
"I realize that. What shall we
wear?"
0 0
CORRECT
"Ah," he said rapturously as they
danced, "I feel as though I were glid
ing on velvet." N
"You are," "shfe replied, taking a
tighter grip on ner skirt. N. Y.
World.
o o
ALWAYS ENOUGH
"Supply governs demand," quote
the Wise Guy.
"Yes," agreed the Simple Mug, "in
spite of the fact that so many people
want to borrow trouble there is al
ways enough fo go around."
0 o
NOT AT PRESENT
Mr. Piatt I. Tude Marriage is a
lottery!
Sir A. Propos Not wih these cob
web clothes the women are wearing
now. Dartmouth Jack o' Lantern.
0 o "
SLOW
"He's a nice fellow to take a girl
fishing!"
"Why, what did "he do?"
"He fished." Fun.
I told him he couldn't use me as a
life preserver." Pun.
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