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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, April 11, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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"Gent uptown telephones for an
rofficer at once. Burglar in the house."
"Let me see," said the captain, re
flectively. "I've eot four men censor-
"v--44ng playB, two inspecting the gowns
at a society function, and two more
supervising a tango tea. Tell him I
can send him an officer in about two
THE REAL BEGINNERS
Ravenyelp The modern play
eems to be nothing more nor less
jjhan the dramatization of biological
mpulses. Can you tell me who start
ed this sex question, anyway? i
Biffstfck I don't know unlajss it
was the Florodora Sex Tette. Judge.
"He threatened to drown himself if
I refused him."
"What did you say?"
"T teitit him he couldn't use me as a
life preserver." Fun. I
CLEANED IT UP .
The appetite of the guest was a
keen one, and he was doing full jus
tice to the excellent dinner. The little
daughter of the house watched him
open mouthed or fl while. Then, fin
ally, she smiled on him brightly and
"Oh, I do wish you were here to
dinner every day."
'"The guest beamed -with satisfac
tion. "Do you, my dear? Why?" he in
quired. "Because," came the unexpected
reply, "there won't be anything cold
to eat tomorrow."
"Mabel, I'm drawn on the grand
"So am L. Gertrude."
"Our responsibilities will be heavy."
"I realize that- What shall we
"Ah," he said rapturously as they
danced, "I feel as though I were glid
ing on velvet."
"You are," she replied, taking a
tighter grip on her skirt. N. Y.
, o o
"Supply governs demand," quoted
the Wise Guy.
"Yes," agreed the Simple Mug, "in
spite of the fact that so many people
want to borrow trouble there is al
ways enough to go around."
Mr. Piatt I. Tude Marriage is a
Sir A. Propos Not with these cob
web clothes the women are wearing
now. Dartmouth Jack o' Lantern.
"He's a nice fellow to take a girl
Why. wnat aid ne ao.'"
"He fished." Fun.