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cS gpSSafcfr'j l'&T'3&j&?: X . VOLTAIRE'S RETORT A visitor one day mentioned to Vol taire that he had recently spent -some time with Albrecht von Haller, the Swiss physiologist. "Ah," said Voltaire, "he is a great man, agreat poet, a great natural ist, a great philosopher a man of wonderful accomplishments!" "What you say, monsieur," tor visitor said, "is all the more credit able to you, inasmuch as Von Hal ler does not do you the same justice." "Alas!" replied Voltaire, with a grim smile. , "Very likely we are both mistaken !" o o YOUTHFUL FINANCIER "Papa," asked James, "wouldn't you be glad, if I saved a dollar for you?" "Certainly, my son," said Papa,xso delighted at this evidence of budding business ability that he handed the youth, a dime. "Well, I .saved it all right," said James, disappearing. "You said if I brought a good report from my teacher you would give me a dollar, but I didn't." : see adolph, SoobX jr. I PRETTY JAARBES. JT . TOUR kce vons'. ) YlELLO, CENTRAL!" -"I do have the worst trouble with the phone!" "Whafs the cause?" "The service, of course. Let me show you. Hello, exchange, hello. Why don't you answer? I want Mrs. "Brown, Mrs. Julia Brown. What num ber? Sixty-two Tanglefoot street. Number? I just told you. Oh, that? You mean her telephoneTrumber? Why, it's there, you've gone and put it put of my head. I'll haye to look in the book. Dear, dear, the book is upstairs. Well; I never in all my life saw such service!' " Cleveland Plain Dealer. o o SIMILAR uThis soup 'reminds we of somej uung rye tasteo Deiore. "Oh, do tell us what," asked the ex pectant landlady. "Well, 1 can't remember exactly, but it's some place or other where I was in swimming." N. Y. World. RANGE OF CHOICE Sylvia, supple and, slender, and Aunt Belle, bulky and Benign, had re turned from a shopping tour. Each had been trying to buy a ready-made suit Sylvia was asked what success each had in her efforts to be fitted. "Well," said Sylvia, "I got along pret ty well, but Aunt Belle is getting so fat that about all she can get, ready made; is an umbrella." Youth's Companion. o o , ALBERT'S APTNESS , Mrs. Hunt (a popular and pros perous pauper) Npjtf, Albert, what'll yer say when I take-yer into the kind lady's drorin'-room?" Albert (a proficient pupil) Oh! All right. I know; put on a beautiful lorst look and say, "Oh! muwer, is thiseaven?"