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ONE MAN'S OPINIONS
B.Y ND. COCHRAN
The Influence of Uniforms
Whenever I think of some book I read
'.years ago, if there is anything I re
member at all it is generally one
thing in the book that sticks out
above all others. Any book that gives
you one new thought to make YOU
think is a book worth while.
When I think of Carlysle's Sartor
Resartus the philosophy of clothes
I thinkof a vivid 'description in one
chapter of various notables-gathered
together in some public place, each
clothed in the insignia or uniform" of
his -office, or position in society or
government.
Having got them altogether, Car
lysle has you imagine some power
suddenly whipping- all the clothes off
every mother's son in'the.crowd, leav
ing all of them standing ther stark
naked not a stitch o'f cloth on any
of them.
I don't recall now just what func
tionaries he 'had in that illustrious
group, but it serves the purpose to
have the king, a cardinal, an admiral,
a general, a chief justice and few
earls, lords, counts, butlers, guards
and servants of one kind or another
thrown in to make the picture com
plete. , ' -
And if they all stood naked strip
ped of their uniforms you would
have a tough time bf it telling a king
from a butler, a cardinal from a pri
Vate soldier, a chief justice from
some thief who might Have-got into
the gathering.
Of course, Jn order to keep wholly
within the bounds of conventional re
spectability, such a gathering would"
be for men only. Although if -women
had been included I suppose it would
have been quite as difficult to tell a
queen or countess from a maid.
."We have improved somewhat on
the customs of monarchies, and there
is less of uniforming so far as clothes
go; although we are. influenced by1
names, position and reputation 'for
wealth much in the same way people
were influenced by uniforms in those
days.
Still, whenever I see a man who
occupies a high place, or whose name
often appears in the newspapers, I
think of that story and wonder how
he would look naked.
We don't uniform our president, or
our senators or congressmen; and I
believe the justices of our supreme
court are the only judges who try to
disguise themselves to create the im
pression that they aref something
more than two-legged men.
We uniform our admirals and gen
erals, our butlers, chauffeurs, coach
men, bell-hops, porters, mail carriers,
policemen, firemen, soldiers and
other servants.
But not our kings and princes. Old
JohnD. Rockefeller wears no uni
form except his wig; and any bald
headed critter ran wear a wig.
Andy Carnegie wears .no uniform
except a set of whiskers that haye
been well advertised in the 'news
papers. Gov. Dunne, Mayor Harrison1,
Roger Sullivan, 'Ogden Armour,
George Reynolds, Vic Lawson, Jim
Keeley, Andy Eawrence and "Bath,
house John" Coughlin none of these
our rulers wear uniforms .like the
masters of old. That is, they don't
wear uniforms of clothes. But we
kow-tow to them 'ust the same be
cause of the mental uniforms1 they
wear largely made and furnished by
the newspapers.
But I wonder just the same how
puzzled the average man would be
if these men were thrown into a room
with common workingmen, with
chauffeurs, porters, policemen, fire
men, mail carriers, street car con
ductors, motormen and every man
stripped J wonder if the average
man who knew none of them could
tell which was the governor, the
mayor, the banker, the boss, the beef
trust magnate, the publisher, the edi
tor, the alderman, the conductor, "the
motorraan? the- policeman, the fire-.
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