OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 01, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-05-01/ed-1/seq-17/

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Xa'SHOULT RE-NAME HIM "FRcnsiE" 3
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NONE NEEDED
"Why don't you brush your hair?"
asked the man with the boy with the
frowsy head.
"Ain't got no brush."
"Why don't you use your father's
brush?"
"He ain't got 'ho brush."
"No brush?. Why hasn't he a
brush?"
"Ain't got no hair." N. Y." World.
o o
THE HONEYMOON'
"It's your wife," said the office boy.
"Take the message' said the busy
man Impatiently.
"You'd better come, sir, I think,"
stammered the embarrassed boy.
"She wants to give you a kiss over
the phonev'
o d
PROFESSIONAL .CANDOR
-"Leaving Kelty, "Monday, 22d hist,
Madame , renowned Palmist,
Crystal., Gazer., Everybody pleased."
Advertisement In British paper.
MEANT WELL
An old "Wee Free" woman was
walking to church in Scotland with
her family. The Church of Scotland
minister rode past at a tremendous
rate, and the old body said to her
children:
''Siccan a wey to be ridin', and this
the Sawbath day! Aweel, aweel, a
guid man is marcifu' to his beast!"
' Shortly afterwards the "Wee Free"
minister rode past just as furiously,
but she changed her tone.
"Ah, there he goes!" she cried;
"there he goes the Lord 'bless him!
Puir man, his heart's in his work, an'
he's eager to be at it!"
CAREFUL
There is in 'circulation yet another
genial story about the canny Scot.
A Caledonian chieftain won a million
pins in a penny raffle at a bazaar.
Three days later he called, very wan
and weary of aspect.
"See here," he said to the bazaar
secretary, "I've counted them
they're three short!"
o o
QUITE NEIGHBORLY
"How are you getting on with your
neighbors across the gulch?"
"We're gettin' acquainted," replied
Three-finger Sam. ."We didn't used
to notice one another an' now we're
on ' shootin' terms." Washingtoa
Star.
o o
ALWAYS SOOTHING
Gibbs What do.you think of this
idea of counting ten before you
speak when angry?
Dibbs Well, I know this, that
counting out $10 when my wife's an
gry has a mighty soothing effect.
Boston Transcript
o o " 3j
JOY OF THE AMATEUR
"He was engaged. to a charming
widow, at one time."
"Yes,-and he says he will always
look back "upon it as one of the most
delightful inexperiences he ever had.'
Puck.
miu .MisKnw-roragra

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