OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 04, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-05-04/ed-1/seq-17/

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fcJk'FFEf? TO CHOIM 3DR FEDERALS- )
Sw VANT US'fbR A BATTERY J
J(3 BEY NEED US Xo CflBRV
i
THE DANGER
The poor woman's husband had
just been sent to jail. She was weep
ing bitterly and a sympathizer said to
er:
, "Now, now, don't take it so hard!
Two years is a long sentence, I know;
but he may not have to serve it alL
Convicts who behave themselves
often get out months before their ap
pointed time."
"That's iust it" the woman sob-
"bed. 'Joe-can be an angel when he
I" T
' Tt
rwy,
SvT" i
K
3S-V
SENSATIONAL
"He has written a new play."
'Original?'
Yes. The heroine is a married
man."
"Oh, I know. And falls in love with
another man."
: ""No. That's the original part of it.
sThe plays shows marriage to be a
acred relation that someeople take
.seriously, and get a good deal of hap
piness out of." k
A FRIEND IN NEED
Sir Squire Bancroft went to call on
a friend who was ill, and, "medicine
Itime" coming round,, he poured out
some of the invalid's mixture and of
fered it to him.
"No," said the invalid, obstinately,
"I won't take any more of that beast
ly stuff."
"Oh, come," coaxed Sir Squire, "do
take it, for my sake. You know I'd
do anything for you."
"Would you really?" asked the
other.
"You know I would!" declared Sir
Squire.
"Ah!" sighed the invalid, sinking
back with an air of relief. "Then you
take the medicine for me!"
o o
THE CULPRIT
, The schoolmaster was giving hifl
class a little serious talk about lazi
ness, and was drawing a picture of
the habitual loafer and his ultimate
fate.
"Now who," he asked dramatically,
" is the miserable, worthless, wretch
ed individual who gets food, clothing,
and shelter from his fellows and gives
nothing whatever In return?"
There was an instant's breathless
silence, and then a small voice
chirped:
"Please, sir, the baby!"
o o
HIS RAKE-OFF '
English Guide (showing places of
interest) It -was in this very room,
sir, that Wellington received his first
commission.
American Tourist Indeed! And
how much commission did he get?
Boston Transcript.
o o
AN OBSERVATION
"At what period in life should a
man's income be largest?"
"It is usually reported to be largest
at the period of his life in which his
wife tries to show the court how
much alimony he could pay." SL
Louis Post-Dispatch,
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