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Newspaper Page Text
Tb medal for optjmtem bas been
awarded to a resident of An Ohio vil
lage which, was flooded laBt March.
The old man was found on the roof
o&hls house watching the waters flow
past. A neighbor who possessed a
boat rowed across to rescue him..
"All your chickens washed away
j this mornln', Bill?"
"Yes, but the ducks, can swim.
"Apple trees gone, too, eh?"
"Well, tb,ey said the crop would be
a failure anyhow."
"T RPf t n A rivAr riKrfii$fi alinvR vnrfr
"That's ail right, Sam. Them win
ders needed washin'!" N, Y. World.
"What makes Smithson's'nose so
red? Does he drink a gobd deal?."
"Why no, 1 don't think so. I know
him well and never saw hbn drink
much. j think bis nose must be like
Lmy gas meter registers more than
it consumes me.
- - ,
Mr. 'Arnold had givan a Sunday
school lesson on tljfe Prodigal Son,
and wished to test the attention the
class had paid, to his teachings.
"Now, children," he sid, "who was
sorry that the Prodigal had return
ed?" No one replied, but all seemed lot
in thought. Finally, the most for
ward youngster In the class ven
tured: "The fatted calf !' Everybody's.
She was th6 youngest orseight
children in a minister's family and
as his Balary was not large she al
ready had learned that there were
many things the family could not
have. One day her father told her
that she had a new baby sister.
rtWell, "papa," sh6 said, bravely. "I
suppose it's all right, but it seems to
me there' were a 16t of things we
needed more." N. Y. World.
One of the soldiers In a certain
.company made a disparaging remark
about the man in front of him. The
victim turned with Indignation and
assumed a fighting attitude. Then
the captain remarked sharply:
"That will db there ! We don't want
any fighting men in this regiment."
"We don't have any grass growing
in our streets," sneered the New
"I dare say not," replied the Phila- ,
delphlan. "I suppose your street car
horses nibble It off as they browse
THE ONE THING WORSE
"What can be worse," he asked.
"than taking a Idas' without asking
"I don't know," said the girl, "un
less it is asking for a kiss without
taking It" Ladles' Home Journal.