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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 08, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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WRONG EVERY TIME
Practically every adult peraoo in
the village bad flocked to the tittle tin
hall to hear the speaker from Lon
don "go for the government."
lite villages sat open-mouthed as
the orator proceeded to atrip the vari
ous ministers, one by one and ef
fectively,, of every vestige of honesty
or .purity of purpose.
"That ain't true, sir!" said one ok!
fellow at last. r
The, by this time, furiBus orator
ignored the interruption, and pro
ceeded wildly in his fierce attack-
"Nor that's not true, either!" again
protested the aged champion, a few
minutee later. The speaker paused
"I can well believe that my friend
finds it hard to credit the baseness of
these jacks-in-offioe," he bellowed.
"But let him wait! There is werse
to follow! I am Just going to -disclose
seme facts concerning them that wfil
make every tmir on -his head stand
up with horror!"
"Well, Chat ain't truer either!" said
the old fellow. "I aia't got a hair oa
Lmy head." v
THE T. M. & W.
A drummer'asked a grouchy Mays
vflle man, vVho was perhaps too drunk
to see our superb auto truck, the way
to get to MdUnt Olivet
"Take the T. M.Tfc W.," replied the
citizen of the Mason metropolis.
"What's that?" queried the eager
knight of the grip.
"Two mules and a wagon,""yas the
laconic answer. Mt Olivet (Ky.)
Advance , -
IflXv, I see TnaTS5S. '
m( nov$ vefev veu-. wr a$t
I V MX) GONSr lb MKE HAr .
I A STINGJNGTEST
(There was- an okl clergyman who
reigned his ohurch in order to be
come the chaplain of a jaiL The good
old man began his farewell Bermon
Mr parishioners in this wise: ,
"My friehds, I am leaving you the
se you do net ktve the church,
on you attend vary- irregularly.
m leaving you because you So net
ve one apother there have been
marriages among yqu during the
t three years. ? And I am leaving
u because you deoidt lpva me, for
u contribute very little to my sup
rt. My test you will, find- in tie
eenth. chapter, seepmLverse, of
John: 'I $o to prepare a placed
ir vnii!' f " ..
- ' ' - 5.
An Irishman wag$i info a hotel
a souceatwo men ngnang at tne
en or tne room. Leaning over the
V he earnestly inoufredJf the har
der: 'Sl& that a DrivsteTfirht ar can
tfnyone get into itl'Life
, VSAVED, MAYBE
The eaitor was suddenly interrupt
ed by the office boy, who remarked:
"There's a tramp at the door, Mr.
Hyle, and he says he ain't had npth
in.o eat for six days."
Teton him in," said the editor. "K
we can And' out how he does it, we
can, run the paper for another week,"