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Newspaper Page Text
5 aW62 3Ms'fi'tfB'
blajnly oeE res SOME -
,to.Y eAfc ATJOt-PH,
lT e HAF DEC
jjlggrt WOKTL6S6 CHECK 7
Pat How much do yez weigh,
Mike Oi weigh one hundred and
Pat You must'a'got weighed with
your coat on.
Mikep-An' Oi did not Oi held it In
me arms all the time. Magaiine of
jj un I nt iraoiut
"womDat ougnt to cut some ice in
"Is he in with the political push?"
Well, he knows an kinds of col
lege professors." Kansas City Jour
nal. o o
3?he harp that once through Tara's
Sent forth its thrilling tone
elected hangs on Tara's walls
They've got a graphaphone.
-Magazine of m,
' "" POOR BUT JUST
In one sense of the word he was
very poor. In another sense he was
not, for he had a cousin who drew
a- big salary as manager of a base
ball club. A few days ago he caned
"Jack," he said, with a convincing
catch in his throat, "can you give
something to help me. I have just
spent my last penny!" He always
made a point of spending his last
penny before going to see hisNCQusin.
The affluent relative smiled unex
pectedly. "Why, certainly, John! As a mat
ter of fact, I was just going to pay a
fellow 50 cents to mark -out the
ground for next Saturday's match.
But if you care to take it on, and
you're a relation, 111 pay you ?2!
What do you say?"
"Thanks awfully, Jack; but though
I'm poor, I should not like to rolran
other man of his job. So pay me the
extra $1.50 and let him mark the
ground for 50 cents as agreed
"I suppose, Jane, you couldn't
think of going to the matinee in that
shabby old hat?"
"Oh, you dear man! How thought
ful you are! I really couldn't think
"Yes! Just what I thought, so I
bought only one ticket."
V AN ODD HAPPENING
Minister (announcing from pulpit)
I will add that a lady's watch has
been found in one of the aisles, which
the owner can have by applying at
the vestry. We will now sing the 117th
hymn: "Lord, Her Watch Thy Church
Did Lady (reading her evening pa
per) -" Japanese Turn Agnostics."
Second Old Lady What wonderful
things those Japanese Acrobats cam
do! Buffalo Express.