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Newspaper Page Text
POOR BUT JUST
p . . ' '- -- --'-
I MiJET ne. HAF BET
a) wwciLcao tribwK y-'v
N vMoieiTvr -
'""Pat How much do yez weigh,
v Mike 01 weieh one hundred and
trai i ou must a goi weigueu witn
your coat on.
f 'Mike An' Oi djd not Oi held it in
me arms all the time. Magazine of
? ON THE INSIDE
"Wombat ought to cut some ice in
"Is he in with the political push?"
"Well, he knows all kinds of col
lege professors." Kansas City Jour
Ihe harp that once through Tara's
Sent forth its thrilling tone
eglected hangs on Tara's walls
LZ-TJjey've got a graphaphone.
Iff one sense of the word he was
very poor. In another sense he was
not, for he had a cousin who drew
a big salary as manager of a base
ball club. A few days ago he called
on him. - x
"Jack," he said, with a convincing
catch in his throat, "can you give
something to help me. I have just
spent my last penny!". He always
made a point of spending his last
penny before going to see his cousin.
The affluent relative smiled unex
pectedly. "Why, certainly, John! As a mat
ter of fact, I was just going to pay a
fellow 50 cents to mark out the
ground for next Saturday's match.
But if you care to take It on, and
you're a relation, YE pay you $2 1
What do you say?"
"Thanks awfully, Jack; but though
I'm poor, I should not like to rob an
other man of his job. So pay me the
extra $1.50 and let him mark the
ground for 50 cents as agreed
"I suppose, Jane, you couldn't
think of going to the matinee in that
shabby old hat?"
"Oh, you dear man! How thought
ful you are! I really couldn't think
"Yes! Just what I thought, so I
bought only one ticket."
AN ODD HAPPENING
Minister (announcing from pulpit)
I will add that a lady's watch has
been found in one of the aisles, which
the owner can have by applying at
the vestry. We will now sing the 117th
hymn: "Lord, Her Watch Thy Church
Old Lady (reading her evening pa
per) "Japanese Turn Agnostics.1'
Second Old Lady What wonderful
things those Japanese Acrobats cam.
do! Buffalo- Express.