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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 12, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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Tj C1 IT iSS A OJTRAGe "
t. qT IT) Vfcu., I LOOK AT .T V,
(rPS? SAME VAY too HO. WE A.
J $W& T WAJT ANV' &SSATisOr.O , J
Y - ASOuPH, y
WANTED TO KNOW
The superintendent of a Sunday
school was illustrating for the chil-
Vfren the text, "Arise and take the
kyoung child and his mother, and flee
into Egypt." Showing them a large
picture, she asked:
"Now, isn't that splendid? Here is
the mother. Here is the young child.
There's Egypt in the distance'
The children, however, looked dis
appointed, and finally alittle hoy
ii piped out:
"Teacher, whereB the flea?"
A MISCONSTRUED SITUATION
How are Jox getting along at
jut new place? asked a lady of a
rl whom, she had recommended for
; situation. L
"Very well, thank you," answered
mt "Vm glad to hear it," said the lady.
dYour employer is a very nice per
b, jfson and you can't do too much for
"I don't 'mean to' replied the girL I
GIVING HIMSELF AWAY
The detective was reminiscent. He
said: "To the good detective every
slightest action speaks volumes.
"I, for example, was once looking
for a widower. But the man I had
under surveillance stoutly declared
himself to be a bachelor. One morn
ing, however, I saw him pay-a bill,
and in doing so he turned his back to
everybody in the room before taking
out his pocketbook.
"Instantly I laid my hand on hi3
" 'Come with me,' I said. Tou are
no bachelor. You are a widower or
a married man.'"
NO TIME TO SPARE
It was their first venture at shoot
ing, and they were dreadfully keen.
n Suddenly Casey spotted a bird, and,
taking careful aim, prepared to fire
the fatal shot. Then Pat seized him
by the arm frantically.
"For mercy's- sake, don't fire,
Casey!" he yelled. "Sure, an' ye've
forgotten toload yer gun!"
"That's as may be", my lad," re
torted Casey, "but fire I must Be
gorrah, the bird won't wait!"
O Ot '
THE PROBLEM SOLVED
He I shall never marry until I
meet a" woman who is my direct op
posite. She (encouragingly)' WelL- my
friend, there are numbers of bright,
intelligent girlsin this neighborhood.
" First WaiterThem's the same
couple has bin in here most evry day
lately, ain't they, Bill?
Second Waiter It's the Bame girL
Magazine of Fun. -'
RIPE FOR THE BENCH
"Jones, the lawyer, is becoming
deaf, is he not?"
"Yes. AH that's left of him now
is an appointment to a Judgeship."