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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 12, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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L-OT IT iSS A (XJTRVSE -
'sAWT lT VEu., 1 LOOK AT iT
i m i os? SAMe VAv tou cdc. we
" y iSepON-T,, WAT ANV DiSSA"SFACT.O' . J
j' ZS-L. 1 ADOuPH, .
WANTED TO KNOW
The superintendent of a Sunday
school was illustrating for the chil
dren the text, "Arise and take the
young child and his mother, and flee
into Egypt." Showing them a large
picture, she asked:
"Now, isn't that splendid? Here is
the mother. Here is the young child.
There's Egypt in the distance."
The children, however, looked dis
appointed, and finally a. little boy
"Teacher, where's the flea?"
A MISCONSTRUED SITUATION
"How are you getting along at
your new place?" asked a lady of a
girl whom she had recommended for
"Very well, thank you," answered
"I'm glad to hear it," said the lady.
"Your employer is a very nice per
son and you dan't do too much for
GIVING HIMSELF AWAY
The detective was reminiscent. He
said: "To the good detective every
slightest action speaks volumes.
"I, for example, was once looking
for a widower. But the man I had
under surveillance stoutly declared
himself to be a bachelor. One morn
ing, however, I saw him pay a bill,
and in doing so he turned his back to
everybody in the room before taking
out his pocketbook.
"Instantly I laid my hand on hia
" 'Come with me,' I said. Tou are
no bachelor. -You are a widower or
a married man.' "
NO TIME TO SPARE
It was their first venture at shoot
ing, and they were dreadfully keen.
Suddenly Casey spotted a bird, and,
taking careful aim, prepared to re
the fatal shot Then Pat seized him
by the arm frantically.
"For mercy's sake, don't fire,
Casey!" he yelled. "Sure, an' ye've
forgotten to load yer gun !'
"That's as may be, my lad," re
torted Casey, "but fire I must. Be
goirah, the bird won't wait!"
THE PROBLEM SOLVED
He I shall never marry until I
meet a woman who is my direct op
posite. She (encouragingly) Well, my
friend, there are numbers ,of bright,"
intelligent girls in this neighborhood.
First Waiter Them's the same
couple has bin in here most evry day
lately, ain't they, Bill?
Second Waiter It's the same girl,
r Magazine of Fun.
RIPE FOR THE BENCH
"Jones, the lawyer, is becoming
deaf, is he not?"
' "Yes. All that's left of him now
is an appointment to a judgeship."
"I don't mean to," replied, the gki. ,