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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, May 14, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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I WOUUS GIVE
U HODTANGS FOR. IT J
I WOUL.T HOT HAF HT' OEY
THREW AVAY DOT BALL-
IT ISS A HOODOO
nfilF' H '
QUITE A LINGUIST
Airs,. Putton-Ayres had pipked up a
few French phrases which she work
ed into her talk on eveF possible Q-
5 casion. Entenng the butcher s shop
dne day she inquired if Jie had any
"Boney what, ma'am?" asked the
"Bon-vivant," she repeated.
"That's the French for good liver,
DUTIFUL HUBBY '
Young Mrs Jack Horner,
Humped up in a corner,
His face was a study in yellow;
.Said Jack, -with a sigh,
. "It was wifey's first pie
So I ate it to be a good fellow."
. o o
Grocer Did that watermelon I
sold you do for the whole family?
' Customer-Very nearly The ddc
j to.r is still calling. New Orleans
The talk in the smoke-room had
turned upon personal risks, and the
big man with the loud voice had just
related some veracious adventures
and hairbreadth escapes which had
happened'in the course of his career.
Suddenly the quiet little man who
was sitting in a corner spoke up:
"Only this morning," he remarked,
"as I was engaged in the ordinary
course of m'y business, a boiler,
weighing several tons, came hurling
through the air .within a few feet of
There were many exclamations of
horror and the big man turned to the
speaker with increased respect.
"You are engaged in the engineer
ing profession, I presume?" he in
quired. "No," said the little man. "'I am
engaged as a ticket-collector, and the
incident I refer to occurred when I
was standing on the platform of our
station and the express went
And in the silence which followed
the big man lethjs cigar go out.
"Yes," said the old African ex
plorer, "I once found myself in dan
ger from a lion at a time when I had
no weapon with whicn to protect my
self. So I tried the very experiment
which you have just suggested of
sitting down and staring at him."
"Ah!" exclaimed the scientist..
"That is interesting. ,And did the ex-"
"Perfectly perfectly! Why, the
lior dida't even offer to touch me."
The scientist rose to his feet in
a state or great excitement, and was
beginning to bubble something about
confirmation of his theories, whn
the explorer interrupted.
"You see," he remarked, puffing
n-i 'ryfc.r.fr of his c'jar, "I chose to
sit on a high branch of a very tall