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Newspaper Page Text
1 ' '
i; " SETTINS Eo ROUGH
ti MIT DEf? UMPIRES, '
1 tfft 1 ADOWH. SOME
, , 33Ay M30 M6HT
3 ''- KIIX VON. y
Aunt Spmisterly I hope that your
opinions uphold the dignity of our
sex, Mamie, and that you believe that
every woman should have a vote?
Mamie I don't go quite so far as
that, auntie; but I believe that every
woman should have a voter. Phil
adelphia Public Ledger.
WHERE WAS IT?
Ma Hurst Yes, George, I had your
fountain pen, and I put it back in your
drawer right where I found it or
look on the kitchen shelf or on the
window sill in the bathroom or per-haps-it'&up
stairs on top of my dress
er, Magazine of Pun.
INCLINED TO BE CONTENT
"Don't yo,u wish you were a boy
again?" asked the man who is inclin
ed to be sentimental.
. "Great Scott, no I" replied the man
who isn't, "They didn't have moving
pictures noi the tango when I was a
boy." Washington. Star. ,
new york fritz wilyems pretty
near got a licking the uther day, but
the fun he had was worth taking a
fritz is a ackter, and he is a Very
snappy dresser on and off, always rite
up to the minnit
well, a hot day come along last
week, and fritz" almost dide when he
djdent have no straw kelly
So he hotfooted from the lamms
club over to a lid works on broadway
to get fixed up with a 1914 moddel
after he had taken off his derby and
was waiting for the salesman to show
him the very latest in hay bonnets, a
big feller come dashin in the 'front
seeing fritz standing around with
out no hat on, and just kind-of think
ing things over, he took him for a
marching-up to fritz with a feerce
glare in his eye, he grabbed off his
hat and held it out in' his mitt, and
he says y
look a here, this hat that I bought
here don't fit me worth a durn!
fntz took a good look at'the guy,
and then he says "
neether does your coat, my good
. and neether does your.trowsers, If
i may say so
gee whiz, but they certenly was
close to a mixup when a clerk come
along and straightened things out
WELL DONE, FRANK
One especially amusing feature
was the rolling of a peanut across the
floor with the-nose, which was very
gracefully done by Mr. Frank Emer
son. Warren (Pa.) Times.
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