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Newspaper Page Text
SHE HAD BITTEN.
She was a little girl and very po-
LJjite. It was- the first time she had
I 1 1 been on a visit alone, and she had
Jeen carefully instructed how to be-
"If they ask you to dine with
them," papa.had said, "you must say,
It turned out lust as nana had an-
f "Come alonsr. Mariorie," said her
fc SftUe friend's father, "you must have
v&-bfte with us."
v 'girl, with dignity,"4 'I have already bit
ten." New York World.
HE DIDN'T KNOW.
"Won't you be very, verjr happy
'tfcihen your sentence is overfKcheer-
fully asked a woman of a cayivict in
"I dunno, ma'am, I dunno," gloom
ily ntiRWPrpil tViA man
,jftj:'"YQu don't know?" aske"d the
tiili-woman amazed. "Why not?"
"Pm in for life." '
In a case in which damages were
claimed for assault a carpenter who
had been subpoenaed as a witness
was asked by counsel what distance
'he was from the parties when he saw
the plaintiff struck.
"Just four feet five and one-half
Inches," the carpenter answered.
"Pray tell me," said the counsel,
"how it is possible you can be so
Very exact as to the distance?"
"Why, to tell you the truth," re
plied the carpenter, "I thought per
haps some fool might ask me, so I
measured it!" Top-Notch.
I o o
"P'tdters is good this mornin',
madam," said the old fanner making
his usual weekly call.
"Oh, are they?" retorted the cus
tomer. "That reminds me. How is it
that them you, sold me last week is so
much smaller at the bottom of the
basket than at the top?"
"Waal," replied the old man, "p'ta- .
ters is growin' so fast now that by
the time I get a basketful dug, the
last ones is about twice the size otthe
One of the guests at a wedding,
seeing a dismal-looking young man
who appeared to be on terms of fa
miliarity with the principals, asked:'
"Ar6 you related to the bride or to
"No," was the gloomy reply.
"Then," said the guest, "what in
terest have you in the ceremony?"
"Well," replied the young man,
"I'm the defeated candidate." Lad
ies' Home Journal.
Irate Parent No1, sirree. You
can't have her. I won't have a son-in-law
who has no more brains than
to want to marry a girl with no more
sense than my daughter has shown
in allowing you .to think youi could
i&ave feeri life,