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SHE HAD 0ITTEN. '
She was a little girl and very po
lite. It was the first time she had
been on a visit alone, and she bad
been carefully instructed how to be
have. "If they ask you to dine with
them," papa had said, "you must say,
"No, thank you; I have already
i It turned out just as papa had an-
"HomA nlnnsr. Mnrlnrip " nniH hor
p5f SGttle friend's father, "you must have
a oite wiut us."
"Trt hivit .. f..ij 4V. A lllil.
girl, with dignity, "I have already bit
fen." New York World.
HE DIDN'T KNOW.
"Won't you be very, very happy
ijjvhen your sentence is over?" cheer
fully asked a woman of a convict in
"I dunno, ma'am, I dunno," gloom-
J ( ,UJy -answered the man.
hmi "Yon d0Q,t know
"I'm in, for life.
x ' FULLY PREPARED
In a case in which damages were
claimed for assault a carpenter who
naa Deen suopqenaed as a witness
was asked by counsel what distance
he was from the parties when he saw
the plaintiff struck. '.
"Just four feet five and one-half
inches," the carpenter answered.
"Pray tell me," -said the counsel,
"how it is possible you can be so
very exact as to the distance?"
"Why, to tell you the truth," re
plied the carpenter, "I thought per
haps some fool might ask me, so I
measured it'!" Top-Notch.
"P'taters is good this mornin,
madam," said the old farmer making
his usual weekly call.
"Oh, are they?" retorted the cus
tomer. "That reminds me. How is it
that them you sold me last week is so
much smaller at the bottom c," the
basket than at the top?" .
"WaaL" replied the old man, "pvta
ters is growin' so last now that try
the time I get a basketful dug, the
last ones is about twice the size of the
One of the guests at a wedding,
seeing a dismal-looking young man
who appeared to be on terms of fa
miliarity with the principals, asked:
"Are you related to the bride or to
"No," was the gloomy reply.
"Then," said the guest, "what in?
terest have you in the ceremony?"
"Well," replied the young man,
"I'm the defeated candidate." Lad-
Ues' Home Journal.
Irate Parent No, sirree. You
can't have her. I won't have a son-in-law
who has no more brains than
to want to marry a girl with no more
sense .than my 'daughter fias shown,
in allowing you to think you couU