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WILLIE'S LIFE-SAVING
Willie had been forbidden to try
bis new skates because his parents
thought the ice was not safe. Con
sequently, when he appeared in the
doorway, dripping wet, there was
trouble brewing.
"Don't lick me, ma," said the of
fender, "because I've just saved three
men and two women from drown
ing." "How?" demanded his mother.
"Why," explained Willie, "they
were just going on the ice when I
broke through."
o o
NOW YOU HAVE IT
Some people call him "Villa,"
The "v" and "1" like "village."
They mean, of course, the Mexican;
Who loves to shoot and pillage.
Old Scout calls him "Villa,"
And this is how he spells it:
"V," double "e," and then "a-h" -Hugh
Jennings almost yells it.
Detroit News,
new york at a theayter up town
where they have vodevill and movies,
they have a house dockter
the manidger thought it would be
a swell ad for the house, so he hunted
up a young dock in the naberhood
who dident have nuthing mutch to
do but look wise andjet his whiskers
grow, and he give him the job
the dock he has a regler seat at
evry show, and if anybody throws a
fit or anything, he is supposed to get
busy with the first aid stuff
well, a cuppel of days ago one of
the ushers came galloping down the
isle to the dockter's seat, and he whis
pers to the feller that is setting there
that the movie operator has been
took terrible bad
so the feller goes up to the movie
operator's coop, and sure enough the
guy is groaning sumthing feerful and
holding his stummick in his 2 mitts
as soon as the usher was out of the
coop, the operator says, say dock,be
argood feller
i simply got to see that ball game
today, fix it for me to get off, will you
sure J will, says the uther guy, i
ain't no dockter, I just borrowed his
ticket, and if you don't give me away
to the manidger, i'll say you have got
anything from collery morbus to sof
tening of the brane
, o o
EASILY PLEASED
A dear old lady down in the coun
try said to her husband one night:
"George, dear, did that story you
was reading end happy?"
"By Jove, yes," he replied, heart
ily, "the beautiful heroine got cured
of an incurable disease, and the story
gave the name and price of the pills
which done the trici.'"
T
ife.-,,..
